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The Dogs And The Fleas | by Frederic Scrimshaw



Henry Ward Beecher, in a sermon shortly before his death, said America was going through a period of disgrace. This was true; for there had come to pass, what the prophetic Lincoln had foretold, that, as the result of the war, monopolies had been enthroned, that had filled the land with corruption and imperilled the liberties of the people. Today the period of disgrace is worse than then, for the corrupt tree which was then bearing so luxuriant a crop has had several years more in which to develop its fruit-bearing capacity.

TitleThe Dogs And The Fleas
AuthorFrederic Scrimshaw
PublisherDouglas McCallum
Year1893
Copyright1893, Douglas McCallum
AmazonThe dogs and the fleas

By One Of The Dogs

Illustrated by Douglas McCallum

Economic library series

-Preface
Henry Ward Beecher, in a sermon shortly before his death, said America was going through a period of disgrace. This was true; for there had come to pass, what the prophetic Lincoln had foretold, that,...
-Chapter I. Canisville
Chapter I (Canisville) (Canisville). Canisville. - Founded By Rebel Dogs From Kyhidom. - Prosperity And Happiness Of The Early Canis-Villians. THERE was once a time when; dogs were dogs and dwelt ...
-Chapter II. Death Of Bull Mcmastiff
Chapter II (Death Of Bull Mcmastiff) (Death Of Bull Mcmastiff). Death Of Bull Mcmastiff. - Accession Of Pup Mcpoo-Dle. - His Evil, Reign. - Trouble With The Dogs Of Kyhidom And How It Ended. - Nationa...
-Death Of Bull Mcmastiff. Continued
Certain of the dogs, however, who were known as Advanced, very disrespectfully spoke up and said that this sending of blood away over the pond was all wrong; it was contrary to sound sense, and was ...
-Chapter III. Unprofitable Victory
Chapter III (Unprofitable Victory) (Unprofitable Victory). Unprofitable Victory. - Plague Of Fleas - Desperate Condition Of The Dogs. poor fool dogs of Canisville had been told by their own fleas ...
-Chapter IV. Piety's Philosophy Of Poverty
Chapter IV (Piety'S Philosophy Of Poverty) (Piety'S Philosophy Of Poverty). Piety's Philosophy Of Poverty. - Andronicus Carnivorous And His Glory THINGS went from bad to worse among the dogs. It b...
-Chapter V. The "Battle Of Life"
Chapter V (The Battle Of Life) (The Battle Of Life). The Battle Of Life. - Pup Mcpoodle's Wicked Reign. - Invention Of The Protectivtarif. - How It Was Worked. - Construction Of Thb Blood And Bo...
-Chapter VI. Weariness Of The Grinders
Chapter VI (Weariness Of The Grinders) (Weariness Of The Grinders). Weariness Of The Grinders. - Growing Greed Of The Monstrous Fleas. - Conundrums. - The Sanguinometer. - Pharaoh Phrique. - Strike Of...
-Chapter VII. The Great Idea
Chapter VII (The Great Idea) (The Great Idea). The Great Idea. - Combination To Agree. - The Whith Label. - Lengthen The Handle. - Formation Of Tub White Leg Association. - Gracious Reception Of The...
-Chapter VIII. Barren Hopess
Chapter VIII (Barren Hopess) (Barren Hopess). Barren Hopes - The Handle Tied Up. - Defeat Of The White Legs By The Black Legs And The Pink Eyed Dogs. - Invention Of The Will Of The Dogs Expresses. -Th...
-Chapter IX. How The Will Of The Dogs Expresser Worked
Chapter IX (How The Will Of The Dogs Expresser Worked) (How The Will Of The Dogs Expresser Worked). How The Will Of The Dogs Expresser Worked. - The Solemn Mummery Committee. - How It Inquired Very Ex...
-How The Will Of The Dogs Expresser Worked. Continued
And the Inventor, with his tail brandished on high, ran back to his fellow toilers at the Handle, crying, Joy! Joy ! Deliverance! Behold; the Faraways, who are our friends, have promised that if we w...
-Chapter X. Dearth Of Dogs
Chapter X (Dearth Of Dogs) (Dearth Of Dogs). Dearth Of Dogs. - The Blood Stream Begins To Fail. - Scheme To Recruit Prom Hungryland. - How It Worked To The Destruction Of The White Leg Association, An...
-Chapter XI. Hell And Chaos In Canisville
Chapter XI (Hell And Chaos In Canisville) (Hell And Chaos In Canisville). Hell And Chaos In Canisville. - Tramp Dogs. - Risk Of The Apologist Philosophers. - Whatsoever Is Is Right. - Their Proverb Fo...
-Chapter XII. The Arisersmenders
Chapter XII (The Arisersmenders) (The Arisersmenders). The Arisersmenders. - Moral And Spiritual Tinkers And Cobblers. - Artificial Piety. - Praise Conven- A Holy One A Maker Or Long Pray-Ers And Shor...
-Chapter XIII. The Moral And Spiritual Cobblers Adopt Physical Coercion
Chapter XIII (The Moral And Spiritual Cobblers Adopt Physical Coercion) (The Moral And Spiritual Cobblers Adopt Physical Coercion). The Moral And Spiritual Cobblers Adopt Physical Coercion. - Squads. ...
-Chapter XIV. Delusion Of The Dog-Flea-Monkeys
Chapter XIV (Delusion Of The Dog-Flea-Monkeys) (Delusion Of The Dog-Flea-Monkeys). Delusion Of The Dog-Flea-Monkeys. - The Portrait. - How It Was Copied. Lthesedog-flea-monkey Virtue Compolsion-is...
-Chapter XV. Lovely Anthony's Communion Service All, By Himself
Chapter XV (Lovely Anthony'S Communion Service All, By Himself) (Lovely Anthony'S Communion Service All, By Himself). Lovely Anthony's Communion Service All, By Himself. - How He Formed A Society For ...
-Chapter XVI. Joy Amongst The Salaried Barkers Over Saint Anthony The Dog Catcher
Chapter XVI (Joy Amongst The Salaried Barkers Over Saint Anthony The Dog Catcher) (Joy Amongst The Salaried Barkers Over Saint Anthony The Dog Catcher). Joy Amongst The Salaried Barkers Over Saint Ant...
-Chapter XVII. One Eyed Elder Berry Is Jealous Of Lovely Anthony
Chapter XVII (One Eyed Elder Berry Is Jealous Of Lovely Anthony) (One Eyed Elder Berry Is Jealous Of Lovely Anthony). One Eyed Elder Berry Is Jealous Of Lovely Anthony. - His Philosophy And Logic - Hi...
-Chapter XVIII. Virtus And Victuals
Chapter XVIII (Virtus And Victuals) (Virtus And Victuals). Virtus And Victuals. - The Conductometer. - Terrible Fate Of Those Who Teach Unrevealed Religion And Blasphemously Attempt To Save Bodies Rat...
-Chapter XIX. Shows That Virtue Is Much More A Matter Of Victuals Than Is Commonly Imaginedd
Chapter XIX (Shows That Virtue Is Much More A Matter Of Victuals Than Is Commonly Imaginedd) (Shows That Virtue Is Much More A Matter Of Victuals Than Is Commonly Imaginedd). Shows That Virtue Is Much...
-Shows That Virtue Is Much More A Matter Of Victuals Than Is Commonly Imaginedd. Continued
And all the sleek and unctuous fleas said the discourse was well spoken, and that if ever there was a true follower of the meek and lowly Jesus, this was he. And straightway the zealous fleas gathered...
-Chapter XX. Shows How Hard It Is To Establish Piety Amongst The Unregenerate ; And Also What Happens When The Irresistible Comes In Contact With The Immovable
Chapter XX (Shows How Hard It Is To Establish Piety Amongst The Unregenerate ; And Also What Happens When The Irresistible Comes In Contact With The Immovable) (Shows How Hard It Is To Establish Piety...
-Chapter XXI. The Sacred Order Of Ancient Timers And Holy Retrogressionists, And Their Lugubrious Ritual
Chapter XXI (The Sacred Order Of Ancient Timers And Holy Retrogressionists, And Their Lugubrious Ritual) (The Sacred Order Of Ancient Timers And Holy Retrogressionists, And Their Lugubrious Ritual). T...
-Chapter XXII. Rise And Progress Of Bob The God Stealer
Chapter XXII (Rise And Progress Of Bob The God Stealer) (Rise And Progress Of Bob The God Stealer). Rise And Progress Of Bob The God Stealer - Omnipotence In Danger. - How The Valiant Blatherskite Cam...
-Rise And Progress Of Bob The God Stealer. Continued
In this perilous hour, then, we need some one who will point a way out of our trouble. I am happy to say I see with us our valiant friend, the Reverend Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite. (Immense and p...
-Chapter XXIII. Dogs Coming To Their Senses
Chapter XXIII (Dogs Coming To Their Senses) (Dogs Coming To Their Senses). Dogs Coming To Their Senses - A Very Stow Process.. - Marvellously Leather-Headed Economic Reasoning, Which Shows That Workin...
-Chapter XXIV. The Thinking Contagion Makes Alarming Progress
Chapter XXIV (The Thinking Contagion Makes Alarming Progress) (The Thinking Contagion Makes Alarming Progress). The Thinking Contagion Makes Alarming Progress. - Conference Of Frightened Fleas. - Sage...
-The Thinking Contagion Makes Alarming Progress. Continued
And this advice of the wise fleas seemed good and sage unto the other fleas; and the Monstrous Pleas (all but Pharaoh Phrique, who became sulky and declared that the wise fleas were a lot of old fogy ...
-Chapter XXV. Demonstrates That All Is Not Success That Succeeds, And That An Overdose Of Physic Is As Bad As A Disease
Chapter XXV (Demonstrates That All Is Not Success That Succeeds, And That An Overdose Of Physic Is As Bad As A Disease) (Demonstrates That All Is Not Success That Succeeds, And That An Overdose Of Phy...
-Chapter XXVI. The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle
Chapter XXVI (The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle) (The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle). The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle. - Loud Noise And...
-The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle. Continued
And the Reverend Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite stepped briskly to the front, and with a voice of tragedy delivered himself thus: A vision, a vision, a vision of Judgment It is the last day - the da...
-Chapter XXVII. Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, The Prince Of Bam-Boozlers
Chapter XXVII (Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, The Prince Of Bam-Boozlers) (Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, The Prince Of Bam-Boozlers). Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, The Prince Of Bam-Boozlers. - H...
-Chapter XXVIII. Heaven Worketh With The Bamboozlers, Confirming Their, Words, With Signs Following
Chapter XXVIII (Heaven Worketh With The Bamboozlers, Confirming Their, Words, With Signs Following) (Heaven Worketh With The Bamboozlers, Confirming Their, Words, With Signs Following). Heaven Worketh...
-Heaven Worketh With The Bamboozlers, Confirming Their, Words, With Signs Following. Continued
Brother Grandadhat, being thus exhorted, arose, and bowing low to the Flag, said: I bless God for that Flag, and I bless God that under its protecting and blessing-scattering folds I was born, as wer...
-Chapter XXIX. The Spirit Irresistibly Moves Pharaoh Phrique To Testify Of Freedom, Equality And Justice
Chapter XXIX (The Spirit Irresistibly Moves Pharaoh Phrique To Testify Of Freedom, Equality And Justice) (The Spirit Irresistibly Moves Pharaoh Phrique To Testify Of Freedom, Equality And Justice). Th...
-Chapter XXX. Wilhelm Bunkum Mak Tinley Deals Out To The Dogs Some Tremendous Doses Of Bunkum, But The Dogs' Swallow Is Much More Tremendous And They Gulp It Easily
Chapter XXX (Wilhelm Bunkum Mak Tinley Deals Out To The Dogs Some Tremendous Doses Of Bunkum, But The Dogs' Swallow Is Much More Tremendous And They Gulp It Easily) (Wilhelm Bunkum Mak Tinley Deals Ou...
-Chapter XXXI. Unqualified Triumph Of Bunkum, Statistics And Averages
Chapter XXXI (Unqualified Triumph Of Bunkum, Statistics And Averages) (Unqualified Triumph Of Bunkum, Statistics And Averages). Unqualified Triumph Of Bunkum, Statistics And Averages. - Everything And...
-Unqualified Triumph Of Bunkum, Statistics And Averages. Continued
Called and chosen, called and chosen, replied One a Maker of prayers, God hath indeed given unto him great talents. The Bamboozle prospereth indeed, said Mak Tinley, and tipping the wink to the...
-Chapter XXXII. Apotheosis Of Honest Labor
Chapter XXXII (Apotheosis Of Honest Labor) (Apotheosis Of Honest Labor). Apotheosis Of Honest Labor - Gorgeous Ceremonies. - Beautiful Unanimity Of The Mutually Inimical Fleas Around The Throne. - End...
-Apotheosis Of Honest Labor. Continued
These words ended, all the fleas feeling sure that such beautiful words called for an Amen anyhow, said Amen, and then the Taffy Ladlers, led by Grover Ponderous Flea, Taffyist-in-Chief, passed reve...
-Chapter XXXIII. Shows There's Nothing Like Patriotism To Humbug, Starve And Swindle The Masses With; And Nothing Like Statistics To Lie With
Chapter XXXIII (Shows There'S Nothing Like Patriotism To Humbug, Starve And Swindle The Masses With; And Nothing Like Statistics To Lie With) (Shows There'S Nothing Like Patriotism To Humbug, Starve A...
-Shows There's Nothing Like Patriotism To Humbug, Starve And Swindle The Masses With; And Nothing Like Statistics To Lie With. Continued
And the Great Many Headed answered, and said: I am the Great Gee Whizz, having a Larger Circulation than all the other Gee Whizzes combined. I am the bold, fearless, outspoken and independent champi...
-Chapter XXXIV. The Great Daily Press Fulfills All Its Promises
Chapter XXXIV (The Great Daily Press Fulfills All Its Promises) (The Great Daily Press Fulfills All Its Promises). The Great Daily Press Fulfills All Its Promises. Universal Idiocy. - More Liberty And...
-Chapter XXXV. Liberty, Lots Of It
Chapter XXXV (Liberty, Lots Of It) (Liberty, Lots Of It). Liberty, Lots Of It. - But Victuals Are Unfortunately In Inverse Proportion. - Mutual Congratulation Of The Fleas On The Very Satisfactory Sta...
-Chapter XXXVI. Ding Dong Liberty Bell
Chapter XXXVI (Ding Dong Liberty Bell) (Ding Dong Liberty Bell). Ding Dong Liberty Bell. - Liberty Hells Cheaper Than Liberty RIGHT in the midst of all this universal starvation and death, when ev...
-Chapter XXXVII. More Liberty Bell
Chapter XXXVII (More Liberty Bell) (More Liberty Bell). More Liberty Bell. - Liberty Earth. - Liberty Tree. - Liberty Rope. - Liberty Tinklers. - Glorious End Of Liberty. THEN the herald proclaime...
-More Liberty Bell. Continued
It rings - the mighty Bell of God, It thrills the heart beneath the sod, And spirits of our patriot sires Kindle again the sacred fires. Hallelujah! It rings - and angels from the heights, Salute th...
-Chapter XXXVIII. The Times Out Of Joint
Chapter XXXVIII (The Times Out Of Joint) (The Times Out Of Joint). The Times Out Of Joint. - The Police Dogs Growl And Threaten Revolt. - The Salaried Barkers Awake And Get Up A Revival. - Great Con...
-The Times Out Of Joint. Continued
These abominable new comers - who they hoped for the honor of Canisville were from some foreign country - had spoken evil of religion, saying it was only a crafty dodge of the fleas to deceive dogs wi...
-Chapter XXXIX. The Much Titled Archbishop Plethoric Dog Shows The Infallible Way Of Going Down To The Dogs And Lifting Them Up To Church
Chapter XXXIX (The Much Titled Archbishop Plethoric Dog Shows The Infallible Way Of Going Down To The Dogs And Lifting Them Up To Church) (The Much Titled Archbishop Plethoric Dog Shows The Infallible...
-Chapter XL. This Holy One A Maker Of Long Prayers And Shout Wages Discourses On This Blessedness Of Charity To Poor Dogs, And Shows How It Incidentally Pays The Blood Suckers Who Dispense It
Chapter XL (This Holy One A Maker Of Long Prayers And Shout Wages Discourses On This Blessedness Of Charity To Poor Dogs, And Shows How It Incidentally Pays The Blood Suckers Who Dispense It) (This Ho...
-Chapter XLI. A Messenger Of Evil Tidings
Chapter XLI (A Messenger Of Evil Tidings) (A Messenger Of Evil Tidings). A Messenger Of Evil Tidings. - The Conference Alarmed. - The Old Disease Revived. - The Conference In Confusion. - Mutual Recri...
-A Messenger Of Evil Tidings. Part 2
About the time you fat, full-blooded and comfortable suckers called this convention to take into consideration the miserable condition of us dogs, a number of us dogs bad the (to you) sublime impuden...
-A Messenger Of Evil Tidings. Part 3
'I never visit fleas, and seldom do I come to fat and comfortable dogs. I am a lonely Angel, and I have a tremendously long beat to patrol, which I cannot, even if I make haste, complete in less than...
-Chapter XLII. The Big Deliverer Fours Out On The Fleas An Awful Stream Of Scorching Truths, Which Are As Much An Indictment Of The Dogs As Of The Fleas
Chapter XLII (The Big Deliverer Fours Out On The Fleas An Awful Stream Of Scorching Truths, Which Are As Much An Indictment Of The Dogs As Of The Fleas) (The Big Deliverer Fours Out On The Fleas An Aw...
-The Big Deliverer Fours Out On The Fleas An Awful Stream Of Scorching Truths, Which Are As Much An Indictment Of The Dogs As Of The Fleas. Continued
What doom? What dog insolence is this? cried one of the eminent fleas, in a bold tone. Dost thou not know, dog, that this is sedition, anarchy and a breach of the peace ? Begone ! thou and thy low-...









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