Whether it be a family dinner without guests or a formal occasion, a man shows courtesy and breeding by waiting until the ladies have been seated. At a luncheon or dinner a woman waits politely until her hostess is seated, and a young girl does not take her place until each order woman has taken hers.

Proper Seat At Table

One should sit erect, and neither lounge nor bend forward while eating. A seat drawn too closely throws out the elbows, one too far away crooks the back. The proper compromise is a position in which the waist or chest is about eight inches from the table.

While at the table it is not considered good manners to put one's elbows on the table, to trifle with the knives and forks, or to clink the glasses. When not occupied, the hands should lie quietly in the lap, for nothing so marks the well-bred gentleman or lady as repose at the table.

Use Of Napkin

This must not be spread out to its full extent over the lap or chest, and none but the vulgarian tucks his napkin in the top of his waistcoat. To unfold it once and lay it across the knees is sufficient. At the conclusion of a meal in a restaurant or at the table of a friend it is not necessary to diligently fold the square of linen in its original creases and lay it by the plate. Since the napkin will not be used again until it is washed, it is sufficient to place it unfolded on the table when arising. This rule is not followed when visiting for a few days in a friend's house. Then the guest should do as the host and hostess do, for not in every household is a fresh napkin supplied at every meal.

Knife And Fork

The knife is invariably held in the right hand and is used exclusively for cutting and never for conveying food to the mouth. The fork is shifted to the right hand when the knife is laid aside, and save for small vegetables, such as peas, beans, etc., it is not used spoonwise for passing food to the mouth.

It is an evidence of careless training in table manners to mash food in between the prongs of the fork, to turn the concave side of the fork up and, loading it with selections from different foods on the plate, to lift the whole, shovelwise, to the mouth.

No less reprehensible is it to hold knife and fork together in the air when the plate is passed up to the host or hostess for another helping, or, when pausing in the process of eating, to rest the tip of the knife and fork on the plate's edge and their handles on the cloth. When not in active service both of these utensils must remain resting wholly on the plate, and at the conclusion of a course they should be placed together, their points touching the center of the plate, their handles resting on the plate's edge.

Not only fish, meats, vegetables and made dishes, melons and salads, as well, are eaten with a fork. Oysters and clams, lobster, crab and terrapin are fork foods. It is a conspicuous error in good manners to cut salad with a knife. Lettuce leaves are folded up with the fork and lifted to the mouth.