This section is from the "Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1911" book, by Aristo Motto. Also see Amazon: Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1911.
Las' month me an' the Boss an' a fat feller an' a skinny feller goes automobile ridin'.
My bes' girl's brother is a chiffonier in a garage an' he took me ridin' a couple of weeks before over some hills.
I wuz tellin' the Boss about them hills an' he sez Son you don' know nothin' about hills. I'll take you over some rele ones, an' that wuz how we happened to go.
The Boss put the fat feller on the front sete with him, an' me an' the skinny feller in the sete behind.
We went down one hill that wuz jus' like slidin' down the Soldiers monument up in the publick square.
As we wuz goin' down the fat feller wuz makin' funny noises an' the Boss sez what's that you're singin'? an' the fat feller sez I aint singin', I'm prayin'.
Twict when we struck a bump I went up in the air an' lit straddle of the fat feller's neck, and he never noticed it he wuz so bizzy hangin' on.
The Boss says it takes a good man to hang on.
Talkin' about high ones, when we wuz to Rochester we went down to the place where the Eastman Company makes plates an' papers, an' they had two ole whoppers of smoke stacks - the nex' to the highes' ones in the whole country, an' they give us a book tellin' about it.
The other day I wuz reedin' a article by the folks that makes some of the "jus' as good" stuff, an' they say their stack is the highes' in their town.
The Boss says it don't take mutch to have a high stack in a penny ante game.
These same folks allso sez that their plant has akkomodations for two thousan' employees.
Pa's hed has akkomodations for two thousan' hairs but he aint got 'em.
I got my sute to ware to the Convention pade for the nite before we left. When I tride it on one leg wuz two inches longer than the other.
The tailer sed he mus' have got the last installment payments mixed, an' I got a seventy-five cent installment leg instead of a fifty center.
When we gets to Saint Paul the Boss he sez he's goin' to stop at the St. Paul Hotel, an' that I'd better stop at the Ryan, 'cause he wuz afrade it would bee too excitin' for me at the other one. I foun' out the reezon the secon' nite - but say, we had rele fine wether the hole weak.
Before the end of the firs' day I wisht I had two pare of feet, as there wuz so many things to see an' do.
The Eastman folks had enuff pitchers an' things to make a convention all by themselves. They had all there pitchers under a grate big arber-like thing, all covered with vines, a pergooza-lum, I think a feller called it, it reached clere across one end of the big hall and they wuz all-ways a lot of people lookin' at 'em, an' sayin' "Artura fer mine."
They had a big section full of swell pitchers on E. S. Platinum, made by a man they called "Goldie." I ast a feller why they called him Goldie an' he says bekaus he allways puts his pitchers in gold frames - he wuz kiddin' me tho' bekaus I foun' out the man's name was Golden-sky, an' that's too long when you're in a hurry.
Us fellers diden' scarcely have time to ete, there wuz meetin's an' lectures an' demonstrations all the time, an' jus' when you thot you had a minute to rest up a bit, the Twin City fellers fixed up a trolly ride or some thin' like that.
They made Ben Larrimer President - bettcha the wimmen all voted for him - he's a slick looker an' they give Harris a whoppin' ole silver cup to mix his Artura developer in.
Gee! I'm glad I'm to home again, even if I have got to unpack all that new stuff the Boss bot.
Nex' yere we're going to Phil-adelphy - that's the place where they invented the American flag an' 'lectricity.