The Boss has a habit of lookin' at the thermometer every morn-in' when he firs' comes in, an' the other mornin' when I herd him comin' I lit a match under the bulb, an' the jooce ran up to 104.

The Boss gives one look, an' sets rite down, an' he says "if I am as hot inside as that thermometer sez I am outside, I'm a sik man," and then he sends me out for one of them soft boiled collers, an' orders a hundred pouns more ice.

When the Boss diden' hear nobody else kiken about the hete he thot he hadent looked strate, an' he sez it's grate wot imagination will do.

The Boss says if some fellers wuz as strong as their imaginations they wud have Carnegie an' Rockfeller workin' for 'em, an' glad to get the job.

Me an' Jimmy the printer gets thirsty the other day an' we mixes up some lemmon-ade in a five seven tank an' sets it in the darkroom so's it would kepe coole. The Boss he wuz bizzy makin' sum exposure tests an' when he gets 'em exposed he goes into the darkroom an' plumps the plates into our tank of lemmonade. He wates twenty minutes, an' then looks at 'em, an' he don' see no image; the plates feels sticky like the developer wuz too warm and he stiks the thermometer in an' it sez 40, an' he sez - Well, - me an' Jimmie we diden' wate to here no moor.

The Boss he diden' say nothin" to us, bekaus he's allways preach-in' about never using no solutions wot you don' know wot they are.

I'm out seven cents for sug-ger an' lemmons tho.

I know the Boss is wise tho bekaus I herd him laff an' say to the reception room girl, "It's a wize man that knows when he's been kiken hiz ownkorns."

A demonstrator wuz in las' week tryin' to sell the Boss somethin' to take the place of Artura - say his job wuz as ezy as dippin' up Ten Mile Pond with a teespoon.

The demonstrator he sez his paper wuz jes' as good as Artura, an' cos' less money.

The Boss sez if your paper wuz as good as Artura, you would say it wuz better, an' you would-ent have to sell it at a lower figger.

The Boss sez buyin' the jes' as goods for less money is about as safe as bettin' on a buzzard to win a singin' match.

I'm gettin' my new sute for the Convention - dollar down and 50 cents a weke, got the vest paid for now, an' one leg of the trowsers.

So long! see you at St. Paul.