So many people who refuse to, believe that one of the minor merits of the simpler foods as ordered by Dr. Haig is the cure of corns, still suffer from these inconveniences, that I think the following letter too good tolose:-
Sir, - I trust it may not be beneath the dignity of the 'Westminster Gazette' to permit a humble country doctor to add his little seasonable mite to the gaiety of nations. The one fatal word which is the title of this letter represents the most common, perhaps, of the small ills of life. Once upon a time 'an old wife' in the village of Caris-brooke said this to me (and her endearment of address would have been above suspicion had my readers seen her), 'My dear, you may know a lot about Anna Tummy' (I thought this, at first, some hideous gastric surname, but I realised almost at once that it was an orthoepic liberty only), ' but you dunno nothin' about "karns " - I do.' Well, I happened to know that this good lady had a reputation in the country-side for the relief of the hard variety of these elementary drawbacks to easy labour. On her death-bed she told me her secret. Here are her ipsissima verba, and Heaven forbid that I should lessen the force of her teaching by any grammatical paraphrase. She said, ' You takes beeswax and you deeps it hot right on the karn and covers 'un; then you puts on a bit o' swealed rag and lets 'un set for four days. Then you pulls 'un out after you've a-soaked your foot in water hot enough for you to bear. And when 'e's out you'll see a big hole where he was.' Now, I don't the least care if a 'thousand and one gems' of correspondence reach you saying the remedy is old. So is the Bible old, but very few people know much about it!
Your obedient Servant,
George W. E. Dabbs, M.D.
Shanklin, I.W.: December 18.