This section is from the book "Hill's Manual Of Social And Business Forms: A Guide To Correct Writing", by Thos. E. Hill. Also available from Amazon: Hill's Manual Of Social And Business Forms: The How-To-Do-Everything Book Of Victorian America.
Use the title, when speaking to others, whenever possible. Thus, addressing John Brown, a Justice of the Peace, say " Squire; " Dr. Bell you will address as "Doctor;" Mayor Williams, as "Mayor;" Senator Snow, as "Senator;" Governor Smith, as "Governor;" Professor Stevens, as " Professor," etc.
Before all public bodies, take pains to address those in authority very respectfully, saying to the presiding officer, "Mr. President," or if he be a Mayor, Judge, or Justice, address him as "Your Honor," etc.
When stopping at the house of a friend, ascertain the Christian names of all the children, and of those servants that you frequently have to address; and then always speak respectfully to each, using the full Christian name, or any pet name to which they may be accustomed.
To approach another in a boisterous manner, saying, "Hello, Old Fellow!" "Hello, Bob!" or using kindred expressions, indicates ill-breeding. If approached, however, in this vulgar manner, it is better to give a civil reply, and address the person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct.
Husbands and wives indicate pleasant conjugal relation existing where they address each other in the family circle by their Christian names, though the terms of respect, "Mr." and "Mrs.," may be applied to each among strangers. When speaking of each other among near and intimate relatives, they will also use the Christian name; but among general acquaintances and strangers, the surname.
Never call any one by a nickname, or a disrespectful name. Treat all persons, no matter how lowly, in addressing them, as you would wish to be addressed yourself. You involuntarily have more respect for people, outside of your family or relatives, who call you "Mr. Smith," or "Mr. Jones," than for those who call you "Jack," or "Jim." Hence, when you speak to others, remember that you gain their favor by polite words of address.
When speaking to a boy under fifteen years of age, outside of the circle of relatives, among comparative strangers, call him by his Christian name, as "Charles," "William," etc. Above that age, if the boy has attained good physical and intellectual development, apply the "Mr." as "Mr. Brown," "Mr. King," etc. To do so will please him, will raise his self-respect, and will be tendering a courtesy, which you highly valued when you were of the same age.
It is an insult to address a boy or girl, who is a stranger to you, as " Bub" or " Sis." Children are sometimes very sensitive on these points, resenting such method of being addressed, while they very highly appreciate being spoken to respectfully. Thus, if the child's name is unknown, to say "My Boy," or "My Little Lad," My Girl," or "My Little Lady," will be to gain favor and set the child a good example in politeness. Children forever gratefully remember those who treat them respectfully. Among relatives, nicknames should not be allowed. Pet names among the children are admissible, until they outgrow them, when the full Christian name should be used.
Upon the meeting of intimate friends among ladies, at the private house, the kiss as a mode of salutation is yet common; but even there it is not as customary as formerly. The custom ought to be abolished for physiological and other reasons.
Upon the meeting or departure of a young person, as between parents and children, or guardians and wards, the kiss is not inappropriate in public. Between all other parties it is a questionable propriety in public places, it being etiquette to avoid conduct that will attract the attention of strangers. .