This section is from the "Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1913" book, by Aristo Motto. Also see Amazon: Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1913.
Las' munth mi sister had a girl visitin' her an' she wuz sum peech. When they wuz a givin' oute good looks she wuz the first one at the kounter.
She had a kumplexion that maid pechez and kreme looke like bordin' hous kofFee, an' everry time I kot site ov her, you kood here mi hart beet louder than ma's 79c alarme klok.
I had bin savin' mi munney 2 uze at the konvention but I wuz so blaimed afrade that sum otther feller wood get a look in that I blowed it awl on her for sasapariller an' ise kreme an' otther luxurries the idel ritch iz akkustomed 2.
I thot I wuz a goin' strong an' leedin' the feeld by about 3 laps, but mi munney gaiv oute, an' then she sed she didden' hav' mutch uze 4 kids anny how.
I ast the Boss how kood I regaine her affexions, an' he sed I koodent get bak wot I newer had.
The Boss says that moost wim-men an' girles kan in2itivly gage yure bank role an' that when they let you blo in yure last nikkel, the rales is beginnin' 2 spred an' yure doo for the ditch.
B 4 ma kut mi kurls an' I wuz a littel feller, the girls usta grab me an' say, "ainte he sweete," an' now I gess they say, "aint he eezy."
Mi xperientz with gurls has bene moast disheartnin' an' I aint never goin' 2 B no sufferaget.
When I tole the Boss, he jus' laffed an' sed that evvery horse haz got 2 ketch hiz feat in the top rale a few times B 4 he B-kums a good hirdler. Me an' the Boss haz been troute fishin' up in the mountainz. Sum of the streemes didden seam 2 hav enuff watter in 'em to kover a fish, an' I ast the Boss how wuz it that the troutes kood swim in so littel watter, an' he sed troutes muz fishes that knowed how 2 maik the moast ov thair sur-soundin's.
The Boss says that men an' fishes iz a good dele alike, the kommon varriety ov sukker will bite at enny thing that kums hiz way, even when he kan see the hook stikkin' oute an' then won't maik no fite 2 get away, while the gaim wons that's wurth while has got 2 B shown a new trik B 4 they will even knibbel, an' if you do hook 'em you kno' you hav' been in a skrap B 4 you land 'em.
I ast the Boss wuz a gaim sport the same as a gaim fish, an' he sed kno', that a ded gaim sport wuz moastly ornamentle, while a ded gaim fish wuz edi-bull.
1 ketched one troute that had 2 old hooks in hiz gills, an' az I wuz lookin' him oaver, the Boss remarked that even the best ov us some times fale to profiit bi our past expeerientzes.
From An Artura Iris Print By The Kidd Studio Roanoke, Va.
I ast the Boss wuzzent the troutes, when they wuz littel, tole by theire pa's an' ma's 2 B kareful wot they kinibbled at, an' he sed shure, but wood I pleeze observ that sum ov the troutes I kot wuz full grown.
The Boss says that thairs blaim few ov us that quits mak-in' errers ov judgement when we reech the aige ov diskretion, but that the feller that newer maikes a mistaik iz seldom a towwer ov strength in hiz kum-munity an' that every feller that haz don' somethin' worth while haz a goodly knumber ov skars in hiz private kollection.
We are havin' a grate time in Kantzis Citty, an' I'll tel you awl aboute the konvention nex' time. Kantzis Citty is the onlly town I evver saw whear it's up hill goin' eether way.
It costs no more to be certain - Specify "E. K. Tested."
The mark of chemical certainty.