Chapter XXVI (The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle) (The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle). The Bamboozling Committee Lays Out A Plan Of Bamboozle. - Loud Noise And Great Show Relied On. - Every One To His Post. - Opening Of The Bamboozle Assigned To Tee De Little Wit Blatherskite. - His Vision Of Judgment. - Terrific Effect On The Dogs.

HAVING secured the invaluable Blatherskite, the Bamboozling Committee met very early in the morning, and President Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea, in calling the Committee to order, said: "Brother Bamboozlers, it is laid upon us to save this our beloved land. As ye know, the Board of Public Safety has appointed us to work together with the Hunger Makers in keeping the dogs from thinking. To them, ye know, is appointed the duty of bleeding them within an inch of their lives, and keeping them so busy trying to catch up with their hunger that they will never have a moment to think a serious thought; and to us is appointed the duty of entertaining them during their moments of absolutely needful recreation, and keeping them so well amused that they shall have neither wish nor time to think.

"I need not tell you that the Hunger Makers are doing their duty con amore; so well that in their enthusiasm they are apt to overdo it It behooves, us therefore, to as well deserve our laurels as they do theirs. Where shall we begin, therefore?"

Then arose Wilhelm Bunkum Mak Tinley Flea, and said: "I move, respected President, that we recommend Pup McPoo-dle and the authorities to proclaim certain days to be legal holidays, and days of recreation for the dogs, and that on those days the dogs be gathered together, when we will each take a turn in amusing and edifying them. I will take one turn, and I flatter myself that during my turn, I can demonstrate to them then the moon is made of green cheese; then our much beloved brother, Andronicus Carnivorous, shall take another; my dear chum, Harry Grandadhat shall take a third; you, most excellent humbug, shall take a fourth, and our ever ready old stand-by and reverend barker. Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite, who is always bursting big and full with gorgeous gush, and perennially on tap, shall fill up all other intervals."

Andronicus arose and said: I crave permission to second the motion of my brother Bunkum Mak Tinley Flea. It is good. I deprecate the ascription to me of any very great ability in the line of bamboozling. I have the highest pleasure in yielding the palm to you, dear Mountebank Dephool, and to the superlative Blatherskite, in having whom with us we are blessed and honored above measure. For my part I am but a superficial, transparent, and inferior sort of every-day liar, with no ability, like you, my dear colleagues, to palm off on the dogs a lie as the most sacred Gospel truth; but I do modestly claim that I possess a very creditable ability to play the hypocrite; I believe everyone who knows me admits that; but, be my talents what they may, I am willing to consecrate them all to the good of the dogs and the salvation of this, my adopted country."

This motion was carried, and presented to the Board of Public Safety; and the Board carried it to McPoodle and the authorities, and they, with the acquiescence of the fleas - who had all been assured that they would be indemnified for any loss of blood they might suffer in case of failure of the experiment - proclaimed that on a certain few days of the year, the fleas should let up on the dogs and allow them to recover a little strength; and that on those days they should turn over the management of the dogs to the Bamboozling Committee.

And the Bamboozling Committee got together certain dogs that were lying around loose, and made them happy with meat and drink, and dressed them tip in gaudy colored raiment; and to some of them they gave certain loud-noise-producing instruments, and to others, long poles with pretty cloths fluttering at the end thereof, and said unto them: "Go ye forth into all the streets and ways of Canisville, and the country roundabout, and blow ye and thump ye on the loud-noise-producing instruments, and wave ye on high the pretty cloths, and make a great shouting and hullabaloo with your throats; and it shall be that when the dogs of Canisville shall hear your hullabaloo, they will run out of their holes and kennels, and, forgetting all their troubles, they will howl with idiotic joy, and run after you whithersoever ye go. Go roundabout and encompass the town seven times, blowing and thumping and waving, and fetch up at the Public Place, where great miracles are to be wrought."

So the blowing, thumping and cloth-waving dogs, quite intoxicated with the strange, glorious feeling of a full stomach, did as they were bid, and went and filled all the air with their sounding; and at the very first blast and thump and shout, all the dogs that heard came rushing out, barking, wagging their bony tails and rolling over and over in the dirt, with a frenzied joy, and followed in a great mob the blowers and thumpers and wavers, whithersoever they went.

Then when they had seven times gone roundabout the town, they came to the Public Place, where were gathered on an eminence the Bamboozling Committee, and around them, in their best raiment, all the Monstrous Fleas, who had ordered the Blood and Bones Grinding Mill to cease its bloody grind for a day; all the wealthy and eminent fleas, all the pious and holy fleas; and all the salaried barkers were there; the Holy One a Maker of long prayers and short wages, was there; and also lovely Anthony the Dog Catcher, the One-eyed Elder Berry, and all the morality cobblers, dog thumpers and compulsion-ists of every society; and all were sleek and fat and well-to do, and smiled most heavenly smiles, for they felt that God had blessed the very first part of their new scheme of salvation,

Then arose and whispered Chancy Mountebank Dephool Flea to the Reverend Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite, "Brother, this is a gorgeous success so far; thou art the gifted one; open thou the Bamboozle."