And all the sleek and unctuous fleas said the discourse was well spoken, and that if ever there was a true follower of the meek and lowly Jesus, this was he. And straightway the zealous fleas gathered themselves together and organized the "Filthy Dog Driving Out Society," and they made the Very Reverend Doctor Immaculate Bark worst, the President thereof.

And Doctor Immaculate Barkworst again called on the police dogs in the name of the Law and the Lord and the Driving Out Society to drive out the filthy dogs. But the police dogs made excuses and said they were doing the best they could; and if they could not do more it was for want of Evidence. Whereupon the Very Reverend Immaculate waxed wroth and said, "Dogs that ye are; ye unzealous for souls; ye cowardly for Religion; I will get Evidence."

So the Immaculate got himself up in slouchy raiment, and taking with him several soft-headed bow-wows, also got up in slouchy raiment, proceeded one moonless midnight, by divers dark and devious ways (which came natural to him), to the haunt of the filthy dogs, and having knocked at the door, waited for admission.

Whereupon the Inside Guard of the Haunt peered through the wicket of the door, and seeing strangers there, demanded of them, "Who are ye, and what want ye? "

To which demand the Immaculate replied, " We be Jays and Hayseeds from a far country, and seekers after midnight pleasures.

"Are ye true and honest seekers? " asked the Inside Guard.

"In the name of honesty and all verity, we are," answered the Immaculate.

"But, how shall I know that ye are not spies?" queried the Inside Guard.

"By our proving to you," said the Immaculate, "that we are really and truly filthy dogs, like unto you."

"But," said the Inside Guard, "something about your garb seems to indicate that thou and thy fellows are not what thou sayest ye are; that ye are are not really filthy dogs. Wilt thou swear to me that ye are what thou sayest ye are?"

"Yea, verily, will I," replied the Immaculate Barkworst, "I do solemnly swear, that Iam a dirty dog, a very dirty dog; that in spite of something in my garb, I am a low-down, filthy reveller from Filthville, and that these, my pals, are as filthy as I, if not filthier. Behold, also, we have the wherewithal to pay for seeing your sports."

But the Inside Guard still suspiciously hesitated, and said, "Pardon me if I seem discourteous in keeping ye thus long in the cold; but we are such harassed and hunted dogs; there are so many Societies seeking our destruction and scatteration, that we are obliged to be very cautious and careful; and ye may be spies also seeking to betray us. Now, Will ye swear unto us that if we deal faithfully with you, ye will also deal faithfully with us?"

And the Immaculate and the other sneaks replied, "We will," and they swore.

But the Inside Guard said to the Immaculate, "There yet seems to be something about thee that betokens that thou hast been and lived somewhere where the Spirit of Christ is, and may have somewhat of a taint of that Spirit upon thee, in which case thou canst in no wise be admitted."

And the Very Reverend Doctor Immaculate Barkworst was grieved to be kept so long at the door; and he said, "Before Heaven. I do solemnly swear that there is no taint of that objectionable Spirit on me. The Odor thou smellest on me is the real old honest one that belongs to an Old Frequenter, which I am. Search me, try me, examine me, smell of me, and thou shalt find not the slightest trace of that Spirit about me. And as with me, so it is with these, my pals." And the Inside Guard called assistants, and they examined him with strong magnifying glasses, and turned him over and inside out, and probed him and smelt of him, and tested him chemically, and finding no trace of the Spirit of Christ in him, and that he had told the Truth, they said, " Pass him in; he is a genuine dirty dog like unto the dirtiest of us, and no spy."

So the Reverend Immaculate and the other dirty bow-wows had a high old time; and they saw all the sports and the dances; and they made themselves at home and hugely enjoyed the dirty revel; and never once did any of them betray the slightest sign that they had so much as heard of Jesus.

But afterwards, this dirty dog of a prophet got up in the Church of the Fleas, and boasted of the things he and his fellow dirty ones had done; of the dark and devious ways by which they had gone to the Haunt of the filthy dogs and got Evidence; of the lies they had told and acted to obtain an inside sight thereof; of the filth they had smeared themselves over with to identify themselves with the filthy ones; of the risk they had run of being caught by the police dogs and "run in," as part of the ungodly crew, and of the terrible plight they would have been in - had the police dogs caught them - to explain to those undiscerning and thick-headed animals that they were rolling in the filth for a high and lofty moral purpose, and to the glory of God, and were breaking the law-in order to get it enforced; how they had plighted their troth with them in order that they might gain their faith in order to violate it, and betray them to the police dogs, to be worried and mutilated and made to "move on."

And all the Church of the Fleas applauded, and said he was a right lovely dog, who had given the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth a tremendous shove forward, and brought Society within measureable distance of the millennium, and had shown beyond doubt, that the only truly efficacious way of making the Blessed Gospel Chariot go, was to get the police to push behind; and asked a special blessing upon him, and made him up a special basketful of meat, and gave him a holiday to go across the pond and rest, and lick himself clean.

And at their next session, the "Filthy Dog Driving Out Society," resoluted the following resolutions :

"Whereas: Our beloved and right morally lovely servant, the Very Reverend Doctor Immaculate Bark worst, has, at immense risk of, and peril to, his own virtue, and with a great sacrifice of Truth and Honesty, explored the Haunt of Vice in our midst, and turned thereupon a great light, and has caused the vile inhabitants thereof to be chased out by Law, to " move on " and die and rot - as they do most richly deserve - and has given us a clean city once more; "Resolved: That we approve his methods; and, "Resolved: That we hold it to be an irrefragable truth, that the End always justifies the Means, and that any follower of Jesus may lie in the cause of Truth; may crawl through the foulest and most stenchful sewer in the interest of Purity ; may break the Law to get Evidence of its breach by others; may break the most solemnly plighted faith with sinners in order to trap them into the meshes of the Law; may do all manner of evil that good may come of it. And finally be it "Resolved: That the relentless infliction of the penalties of the Law is the only effective remedy for Sin, and the only sure way of making sinners love God; and that He who said, Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more,' was a good-hearted and very well-meaning person, and all very well for those antiquated days; but for these enlightened and progressive days, there is nothing like a well-organized police."

But when the Very Reverend Doctor Immaculate Bark worst returned from over the pond, it was found that the fresh air of Heaven had not quite removed the evil odor of him; for some of the filth with which he had smeared himself still stuck to him and made him disagreeable to decent dogs and all save the fleas of the church and the multitudinous Societies like his own; and in their nostrils his stenchful odor was a sweet smelling savor.

And as for the bow-wows that smeared themselves with him, they never were able to wash themselves quite clean again; and it was afterwards found that one of them who had sworn that he was a dirty dog had sworn truly.