From the Seventh Anniversary Menu of The Eustace Miles Restaurant.

I am told that one old gentleman, misled by the chef's quite innocent use of adjectives, protested to a waitress that the day was really very warm; also that a youthful wag obliterated the initial C from his menu with a pen-knife and then inquired which was the better vintage, '06 or '09.

But to contend that there is no difference between a good yellow man and a good white man is like saying that a vegetarian chop of minced peas is like a chop of the chump variety. - New Witness.

Chop-chop - as the good yellow man might be tempted to say if he came upon this specimen of white wisdom.

Canvassers can make a very good profit by selling a patent ladies' folding handbag, also wristlet watches. - Advt. in Daily Mail.

Nevertheless, the only place for a patent lady is a registry office.

CAKEOMA PUDDING? You cannot know how delicious they are until you have tasted them. - Advt. in Lady's Companion.

One of the things that would never have occurred to you if you hadn't seen it expressed so clearly.

Saxon

How cruel of you. Although I have not the honour of cap and gown, I do possess a Classical Dictionary. If I can help further, write again. Regarding the recipe, it depends upon its nature. Perhaps Vera is the lady to whom you should address your question - Lady's Companion.

My colleague, Mr Edgar J. Saxon, denies all knowledge of this affair. But I do wish he would be a little more careful in future.

Peter Piper.