(1) A Set Of Six Hand-Coloured Oil Photo-Paintings Entitled "Hot Feat"

I regard this charmingly idyllic sequence as the Photographer's answer to the spasmodic efforts of the new fangled Bioscopists. There is no flickering light or jerking movements to worry the eyes and unduly excite the senses; and each incident can be carefully examined with the leisurely detachment of the student - and in broad daylight, too. Lest it should be thought that the foregoing remarks are prompted by a narrow professional partisanship I hasten to qualify my dislike on ethical grounds:

In my opinion the Bioscope, or Biograph as its sponsors grandiosely call it, clearly represents a vicious attempt to prostitute Art by latently pandering to the low human instinct for gregariousness, even to the extent of downright promiscuity

In "Hot Feat" the plot is simple and direct with no eternal triangles or vicious circles of any kind. The moral is deftly pointed and the colour adds a convincing realism that is vaguely reminiscent of Tintoretto at his best. The reader will doubtless find it difficult to believe that the basic photographic portions of these superb oil-photo-paintings were taken with an exposure of only one twenty-fourth of a second and an aperture of f8.

(2) A Set Of Thirty-Two Water-Coloured-Up Photographs Entitled "Don't Be A Freud; Have A Look Alice!"

In this rather ambitious series of pre natal prints it was my intention to present a vivid, visual record of what goes on in the mind of a young student before she does her homework. I would like to take this opportunity of thanking the model - Miss Ophelia Hare-Rhys - for her wholehearted co-operation; a co-operation without which my intentions could certainly not have been realised. The outstanding success of this scientific analysis has been generously recognised by most of the leading psychologists of the day, and I have been so inundated with requests for sets of prints, from every conceivable seat of learning, that I am seriously considering taking advertising space in some of the more abstruse scientific journals. A hint that five shillingsworth of stamps should be enclosed with every request, combined with a definite promise that plain envelopes only will be used, will, I think ensure that applications are limited to bona fide students.

Special Notice

For Lecturing and other educational purposes, both "Hot Feat" and "Don't be a Freud; have a look Alice!" are obtainable in the form of lantern slides. When ordering please state age next birthday.

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 84

(1) "Oh dear, how our poor old feet do burn ! "

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 85

(2) "Look Emma, there's a spangle-bottomed beaver hiding in the bushes.

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 86

(3) "Ah, that's better, girls - come in before the water boils."

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 87

(4) "Such gaiety! The others will never believe us when we tell them"

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 88

(5) "Good gracious! And you called him a spangle-bottomed beaver."

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 89

(6) "How I wish we'd used Blanks Anti-Foot-burn Ointment instead."

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 90

(1) "Oh dear, how I hate Algebra . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 91

(2) . . . and Geometry . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 92

(3) . . . and History . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 93

(4) . . . and Emancipation . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 94

(5) ... and Botany . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 95

(6) . . . and Geography . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 96

(7) . . . and standing in horse buses . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 97

(8) ... and Economics . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 98

(9) . . . and Literature . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 99

(10) . . . and Latin roots . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 100

(11) . . . and Gardening . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 101

(12) . . . and Cube roots . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 102

(13) . . . and Aero-dynamics . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 103

(14) . . . and Aspidistras

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 104

(15) . . . and Woollen underwear . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 105

(16) . . . and Eurythmics . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 106

(17) ... and Woollen underwear . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 107

(18) . . . and Malthus . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 108

(19) . . . and Entymology . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 109

(20) . . . and Spelling . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 110

(21) . . . and Elastic-sided boots . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 111

(22) . . . and Woollen underwear . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 112

(23) . . . and Cooking . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 113

(24) . . . and Chemistry . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 122

(25) . . . and Nature Study . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 123

(26) . . . and Boyle's Law . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 124

(27) ... and Geology . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 125

(28) . . . and Ballistics . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 126

(29) . • • and the Binomial Theorem . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 127

(30) . . . and Ballet . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 128

(31) . . . and Elastic-sided boots . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 129

(32) . . . and Woollen underwear . . .

2 A Set Of Thirty Two Water Coloured Up Photograph UncleAlbertsManualOfPracticalPhotography 130