I ain't bin phelin' wel lattely an' wuz wunderin' if I wuz goin' in2 a deekline but ma says she ain't knoticed me deeklinnin' anny thing in the way of etes.

The Boss says that' long aboute this time ov yere when the bul heds iz B-ginnin' 2 bite menney fellers Bgin 2 werry aboute their helth, an' 2 phele that their wurk is 2 confinnin'.

I ast the Boss shoodent a feller phele sum koncern regardin' hiz fizzikle wel fair, an' he says shure, but 2 phele it affter biz-ness houres.

The Boss says that a feller kin get awl the simptums in a pattent medicin' almanak if he letts hiz mind dwel on it long enuf.

Our porter wot kleenz up aroun' the plaise is awlways havin' sompthin', a mizzery in hiz bak, or hiz stummik ain't write. The Boss says that that's the reezon hez only a porter Bkaus he ain't newer foun' time 2 Dvote hiz brainz 2 anny thing but simptums.

The Boss kalled me down 4 bein' 1ait the otther mornin', an' he says the erley bird ketches the wurm, an' i ast him why wuz it the wurm got it in the kneck 4 bein' erley, an' he says the wurm wuz workin' on the nite shift an' wuz lait gettin' hoam.

The Boss says that there's sum fellers wot don't know whair the dividin' line kumz B-tween the day shift an' the nite shift, an' that it ain't no ekonomy 2 try 2 get 2 the middel bi bumin' the kandel at boath endes.

I ast the Boss diden' you get moar lite bi bumin' the kandel at boath endes, an' he says shure but the kandel wuz usually fin-isht just when the gaim got interestin'.

The Boss says that if you want 2 liv' 2 a ripe ole aige that you gotta observ' the rules of Hy Geen. I ast him who wuz Hy Geen an' he sed he wuz President of the Doant Worry Klub an' that one ov hiz best rules muz 2 keap youar poars open an' yure mouth shut. The Boss tole me that if I kep' mi mouth open 2 mutch a fli mite Hi in an' strangel me bi litin' on mi eppy-glottis - that wood B a awful deth.

From An Artura Iris Print By Miss Reineke Kansas City, Mo.

From An Artura Iris Print By Miss Reineke Kansas City, Mo.

From An Artura Iris Print by Miss Rineke Kansas City, Mo.

From An Artura Iris Print by Miss Rineke Kansas City, Mo.

I gess wot he reeley ment wuz 4 me 2 do moar think in' an' les konversattion ; still how iz a yuth 2 lern unles he asks questions bi konversin'?

The Boss says that thairs mutch 2 B lerned bi obbservattion: the egle ain't knoted 4 his swete voice but mutch don' eskape hiz i, hentz the turm egle i.

I ast the Boss wuzzent it a good thing 2 B abel 2 speke a lot ov languigges an' he says yep, but it took a good man 2 finantz a proppozition in annyone of 'em.

The Boss says that eloquentz doan't kum from a hole lot ov wurds, but dependz upon what the wurds iz. He sed the best konversation he ever herd wuz short. He wuz broak onst an' ast a man 2 lend him 10 dollers an' the man sed "yes."

I ast the Boss diden' orrators hav' to hav' eloquentz, an' he sed they wuz supposed 2, but that sum he had litzened 2 must hav' taiken a correspondentz kourse frum a windmill.

The Boss says that when you kum 2 sum it awl up the owle is givven kredit 4 bein' the wise burd Bkaus he looks it an' don't giv' you a chanct 2 get anny thing on him bi talkin' 2 mutch.