Little children should be seen and not heard.

-Old Folk Saying

Sometimes, when company comes, little children act particularly bad. Then you have to say, "I don't know what has got into them. They aren't like this, ordinarily." And the company doesn't believe you.

Probably the reason they are acting worse than usual is that they sense you want them to put on a special little show. And they don't know why. And this upsets them. Or maybe you are so glad to see the company, they are jealous. Or maybe company just excites them, and they go crazy.

Here are some ways to help them:

If you know you are going to have company beforehand, tell them who is coming, and what will happen, and just how long they may stay up. Maybe the company will come in and say good night to them.

Children can help by being "extra hosts" and passing the refreshments. You can teU them beforehand to wait for their turn before they help themselves.

You can give them their own hors d'oeuvres plate and when they are finished, it is bedtime.

Get your children into their night clothes before the company comes. And put them to bed before they become too excited.

As a special treat you can skip the afternoon nap, if your child does not become terribly overtired. Then you can draw a clock face under his clock, and say, "When this time comes, it is your bedtime."

If you are having a large party, and want the children out of the way for part of it, you might hire a sitter, whom they know, to read or play with them in their room. Sometimes an older child is more appealing.

If it is going to be a very large, noisy party, the child could spend the night at the sitter's house.

Sometimes it helps to have a special toy, like a new record, to bring out when company comes-not as a bribe, but as a special treat.

If children are coming with the company, you might set up a separate, children's party in your child's room-graham crackers or popcorn, and juice in an unbreakable easy-to-pour pitcher with unbreakable glasses. Tell your child he is going to be host or hostess, just like you are. Teach him how to pass the crackers and pour the juice.

It is often extremely helpful to act out a situation before it occurs. Or even afterwards, for the next time. Tell them you like to talk to your friends, the same way they like to talk and play with their friends. Then pretend the doorbell is ringing, or make one child the company and he can ring the doorbell. Another child can answer the door, and say, "Please come in and sit down." Then that child can talk to the company for a while. He can say, "I'm three and a half years old, and I'm going to have a birthday and I'm going to get an Indian suit"

And the company can say, "Isn't that nice!" Then the child must find something to do. If it is a very quiet thing, he can do it in the same room with the company. If it is a noisy thing, he can do it outside or in his room. Pretty soon it is time for the company to leave, and then the child can say good-by. After that he can yell or run up and down if he feels like it

Neighborhood Play

Of all the pestilences dire, Including famine, flood and fire, By Satan and his imps rehearsed, The neighbor's children are the worst

-Philosophy for Parents Stoddard King

When your child begins to play in his neighborhood, you will find yourself a part of a new society, too.

There will be War and Peace, Love and Hate, Comedy and Tragedy.

When you pass out crackers, a whole box may suddenly disappear.

A strange child will wander in to use the toilet, while you are taking a bath.

A battle may rage in your petunia bed. Faces may study you over the fence, or through knotholes, while you are giving a barbecue party in your back yard.

And, with any group of human beings (especially between the ages of one and five), there will be personality problems:

Robert Johnson, who walks off with everything that isn't nailed down.

Annie Burke, who lives at your house because her mother works, or has new twins, or plays bridge all afternoon.

William Pennington, whom your child idolizes and copies and quotes, so that it seems you are living with William, instead of your own "well-brought-up" little boy.

The Big Boy who pushes, or the Little Boy whom your child dominates.

Maybe you wish your child hadn't made his debut Maybe you wish he was still behind the fence, unexposed to the ways of the world.

But you can also consider this a part of your own and your child's education. It will give you a perspective on your own children, give your child companions, and provide him with a microcosm of what is to come in school and the outside world.

Of course you will want to carry on your own standards.

You Might Try

Telling Robert calmly and sweetly that he may play with the toy truck at your house whenever he wants to, but please leave it here. You don't have to frisk him whenever he walks out of your house, but you can keep an eye on him, knowing his particular habit

As for Annie Burke-your house is just more fun. If you don't want your children to play at her house, completely unsupervised, keep them busy and happy at home. There is usually an Annie Burke orphan in every neighborhood.

William Pennington represents something wonderful to your child. It is probably just part of his growing process, and doesn't mean William Pennington has any Svengali powers. You might point out to your little boy that he doesn't have to do everything William's way-that he has his own good ideas, too.

The Big Boy who pushes, or takes over your children's toys, probably gets pushed around in his own age group, for some reason. As long as you are sure your child isn't provoking him unnecessarily, you might lay down a firm rule-if he wants to play in your yard, he must not push, and must take turns with the toys. (There is an age between one and three when children often push.)

If your child is the bossy one, you might try to find older children for him to play with, and give him lots of confidence in himself at the same time.

If one friendship is excluding all others, and neither child seems to be benefiting, you might try inviting other children over, or for a ride to the grocery store. But there may be something wonderful about the best friend that will be missed.

Around the age of four, children form "cliques" and gang up on others. As long as this is reversed often enough, and your child is not always the butt or the aggressor, you may consider it part of growing up.

It is a good idea to be around without "hovering" over them, to suggest new activities or diversions.