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A gentleman calling one morning on a female friend, was answered by the servant that she was not at home. "Thank you, give her this," said he, handing a card, and giving the boy a sixpence. "Yes," said the lad, thrown off his guard by the unexpected gift, "I will give it to her while you wait/"

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The fashion of shaving the beard was introduced into Greece about the time of Alexander the Great. Its absence was at first, however, regarded as a mark of effeminacy, and was adopted only by low persons and fops. Diogenes, one day meeting a man with a smoothly-shaven chin, inquired of him whether he shaved as a reproach to nature for having made him a man and not a woman.

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If you have a strip of land, do not throw away soap-suds. Both ashes and soap-suds are good manure for bushes and young plants.

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The following notice appeared on the wall of a meeting-house: "Anybody sticking bills against this church, will be prosecuted according to law or any other nuisance."

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Miss Speckles says, "The best vegetable pill is an apple dumpling; for curing a gnawing at the stomach it may be relied upon."

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When the late Lord Paget was ambassador at Constantinople, he, with the rest of the gentlemen who were in a public capacity at the same court, determined on one gala day to have each of them a dish dressed after the manner of their respective countries, and Lord Paget, for the honor of England, ordered a piece of roast beef, and a plum pudding. The beef was easily cooked, but the court cooks not knowing how to make a plum pudding, he gave them a receipt. "So many eggs, so much milk, so much flour and a given quantity of raisins; to be beaten up together, and boiled for three hours." When dinner was served up, first came the French ambassador's dish - then that of the Spanish ambassador - and next, two fellows bearing a tremendous pan, and bawling, "Room for the English ambassador's dish." "By Jove," cried his lordship. "I forgot the bag, and these stupid scoundrels have boiled it without one - and in five gallons of water, too." It was a noble mess of plum broth.

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The head of man is like a pudding, and whence have all rhymes, poems, plots, and inventions sprung - but from that same pudding? What is poetry but a pudding of words.

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A gentleman dining at a hotel where servants were few and far between; despatched a lad among them for a plate of pudding. After a long time the lad returned, and placing it before the hungry gentleman, was asked: "Are you the lad who took my plate for this pudding?" "Yes sir." "Bless me," resumed the hungry wit, "how you have grown "

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Dr. Aldrich, the musical composer, gave the following rhymed reasons for sitting after dinner: Good wine; a friend; or being dry, Or lest we should be, by and by; Or, any other reason why.

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Be attentive to your neighbor at the dinner-table; pass him what he requires; and if he should unwittingly make an ill-natured remark, pass that also.

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When a newly-married woman was brought to the house of her husband, she was compelled by the Athenian law to carry with her a frying-pan, in token of good housewifery.

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A gentleman meeting his coal merchant, the other day, inquired whether it was proper to lay in his winter fuel. "Coal is coal now, sir," said the merchant. To which his customer replied, "I'm very glad to hear it, for the last you sent me was all slate."

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Forget not thy helpless infancy nor the forwardness of thy youth; indulge the infirmities of thy aged parents, and assist and support them in the decline of life.

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Fun is the most conservative element of society, and ought to be cherished and encouraged by all lawful means. People never plot mischief when they are merry. Laughter is an enemy to malice, a fool to scandal, and a friend to every virtue. It promotes good temper, enlivens the heart and brightens the intellect. Let us laugh when we can

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Leslie dined one day with Lamb at a friend's house. Returning to town in the stage coach, which was filled with the returning guests, they stopped for a minute or two at Kentish Town. A woman stepped toward the door and said. "Are you full inside?" Upon which Lamb put his head through the window and said, "I am quite full inside; that last piece of pudding of Mr. Gillan's did the business for me!"

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A woman must have either a very good or a very bad conscience, to find happiness in a complete alienation from society.

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A little boy, nine or ten years of age, was called as a witness at a late trial at Cambridge. After the oath was administered, the chief justice, with a view of ascertaining whether the boy was sensible of the nature and importance of an oath, addressed him: "Little boy, do you know what you have been doing?" "Yes," the boy replied, "I have been keeping pigs for Mr. Banvard."

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A gentleman walking out in some meadows, one evening, observed a great number of rats in the act of going from one place to another, which they are in the habit of doing. He stood perfectly still, and the whole troop passed close to him. His astonishment, however, was great, when he saw an old blind rat, which held a piece of stick at one end of his mouth, while another rat had hold of the other end of it. In this way he was leading his blind companion.

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It is said that a Chinaman, no matter where he finds himself, is never perplexed. He always has his cue.

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A lady made a complaint to Frederick the Great, king of Prussia. "Your majesty," said she, "ray husband treats me badly." "That is none of my business," replied the king. " But he speaks ill of you," said the lady. "That," he replied, "is none of your business!"

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There exists in human nature a disposition to murmur at the disappointments and calamities incident to it, rather than to acknowledge with gratitude the blessings by which they are more than counterbalanced.