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The pride of emptiness is an abomination; and to talk such, is the foolishness of folly. Nevertheless, it is the part of wisdom to bear with patience their impertinence, and to pity their absurdity.

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When a malignant man strikes at the great benefactors of his race, he deserves, like the Indian who madly fired his arrow at the sun, to be smitten with the curse of blindness.

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Not many years ago, the commander of a Russian exploring expedition in the Arctic seas, coming on the coast of a remote and solitary island, was proceeding, as a matter of course, to take possession in the name of the Czar. When, lo! a sharp-built little sloop, of some sixty tons, made her appearance round a point of the island, and hailed him, asking if he wanted a pilot!

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Cato informs us that he never repented but of two things; and the one was, that he went a journey by sea, when he might have gone by land.

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How many lavish out their time and discourse in meddling with other men's matters that nothing concern them! How many grossly abuse their time in speaking too freely of persons, when they should only speak of things!

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When we hear men boast of their own talents, we incline to think that their talents should be reckoned as the East Indians reckon rupees - by the lack!

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There are three things which a good wife should resemble, and yet those three things she should not resemble. She should be like a town clock - keep time and regularity. She should not be like a town clock - speak so loud that all the town may hear her. She should be like a snail - prudent, and keep within her own house. She should not he like a snail - carry all she has upon her back. She should be like an echo - speak when spoken to. She should not be like an echo - determined always to have the last word.

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Sydney Smith was once looking through the hothouse of a lady who was proud of her flowers, and used, not very accurately, a profusion of botanical names. "Madam," said he, "have you the Septen-nis psoriasis'?" "No," said she; "I had it last year, and I gave it to the Archbishop of Canterbury; it came out beautifully in the spring." Sep-tennis psoriasis is the medical name for the seven years' itch.

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Liberality and generosity of feeling are the surest test of a gentleman.

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A lady, who was in the habit of spending a large portion of her time in the society of her neighbors, happened one day to be taken ill, and sent her husband in great haste for a physician. The husband ran a few yards, but suddenly turned back, exclaiming: "My dear, where shall I find you when I come back?"

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On the arrival of an emigrant ship, an Irishman hearing the gun fired from a battery at sunset, inquired of one of the sailors what that was. "What's that? Why that's sunset!" was the contemptuous reply. "Sunset," exclaimed Paddy, with distended eyes. "Sunset! oh, and does the sun go down in this country with such a clap as that?"

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The poorer a man is the more he pays for what he uses - as Franklin very justly observed, necessity never made a good bargain. The smaller the quantity we purchase, the larger the profit charged for it.

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Good nature must be a qualification peculiar to those nations who speak the English language, as it is remarkable that there is no term for it in any other language.

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Man in his civilized state is supposed to eat more than a thousand times in every year of his life.

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Bread is the staff of life, they say, And be it also spoken, Bread won't support a man a day, Unless it first be broken.

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The following is Aunt Deborah's description of her milkman. He is the meanest fellow in the world. He skims his milk on the top, and then turns it over and skims it at the bottom.

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Refuse the favors of a mercenary man, they will be a snare unto thee; thou shalt never be quit of the obligation.

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A pragmatical young fellow, sitting at the table over against the learned John Scott, afterward Lord Eldon, asked him, what difference there was between Scott and Sot? "Just the breadth of the table," answered the other.

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It is told of the celebrated John Wilkes, that at some public meeting he sat next to a person, who, being displeased with the course matters were taking, kept exclaiming, "I cannot allow this to go on! I must take the sense of the meeting on this point I" Whereupon Wilkes whispered to him, "Do so, if you will; I'll take the nonsense of the meeting against you, and can beat yo!"

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In the examination of an Irish case for assault and battery, counsel, on cross-examining the witness, asked him, what they had at the first place they stopped. He answered, "Four glasses of ale." "What next?" "Two glasses of wine." "What next?" "One glass of brandy." "What next?" "A fight, of course."

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Old Charles Matthews, in his entertainment entitled "At Home," used to tell a story of pulling up at a roadside inn, and interrogating the waiter as to what he could have for dinner. "Any hot joint?" inquired the traveller. "No, sir, no hot joint, sir." "Any cold one?" "Cold one, sir? No, sir, no cold one, sir." "Can you broil me a fowl?" "Fowl, sir? No, sir, no fowl, sir." "No fowl, and in a country inn!" exclaimed Matthews. "Let me have some eggs and bacon." "Eggs and bacon, sir?" said the waiter; "no eggs and bacon, sir." "Confound it!" at length said the hungry traveller, "what have you got in the house?" "An execution, sir," was the prompt response of the doleful waiter.

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A young Irish servant, travelling on board a steamer, had the ill luck to lose the "recommendation" which had been given her on leaving her last place. She brought, however, the accompanying ticket, some one had written for her, and which she presented when applying for a situation; "this is to certify that Kathleen 0'Brian had a good character when she left Albany, but she lost it soon afterward!"