IT has been said that the social progress of a community is in exact proportion to the number of its dinner parties; and in all ages the friendship of nations, as well as of individuals, has been cemented, and enmities forgotten, in the allurements of dining. It is an undeniable fact that more enduring alliances have been struck by diplomatists across the dinner table than were ever agreed upon in ministerial cabinets. Talle-rand regarded the dinner table as the best place for the transaction of diplomatic business. And can any one doubt that much of the culture of the world, with all its elements of refined manners, intellectual progress, and taste for science, literature, and the fine arts, is largely dependent upon the social gatherings at the dinner tables of the metropolitan cities?

The rules which regulate dinner giving and dining in America, have been adopted from both England and France, as they have been found to fit our social conditions; and the dinner giver who attempts to be original is likely to fail, because he disturbs the harmony which established customs insure. The path of safety here, as in all social matters, is the beaten track.

The first consideration, when a dinner has been decided on, is a discreet selection of guests. The proper limit as to numbers will be decided by the good sense of the host and hostess, the size of the table and dining-room being important considerations, though the number of guests should not exceed twelve. Thirteen is an ominous number, and there are superstitious people who would not sit at the table when thirteen were present, from the belief that some fatality might soon happen to one of their number.

The aim of the host and hostess should be to bring together such people as are of equal intellectual attainments, and of like social standing. Guests are wanted who will affect each other pleasantly. They need not be friends, nor even acquaintances, but they must be congenial, and have common tastes and sympathies. Good talkers are invaluable, and good listeners no less so. The test of the success of a dinner party is the manner in which the conversation is sustained at the table. A constant flow of talk and merriment is proof that the guests have been wisely chosen, while embarrassing halts and dead pauses in conversation denote that they are not in sympathy with one another.

The invitations are issued in the name of the host and hostess from three to ten days in advance. They are sent by messenger, and not by mail, only when the distance is too great to send a trusty servant. An invitation to a dinner party requires a prompt answer, and if it is accepted the engagement must be sacredly kept, as the non-arrival of a guest means an empty chair at the table, a lady without an escort, or a gentleman without a lady. If in doubt, it is better to decline; but if an invitation has been accepted, and an insurmountable obstacle intervenes, an ex planation must be made at once, so that the vacant place in the little circle may be filled.

The following is the form of the invitation: -

Mr and Mrs. William Rieston request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Howard Sinclair's company at dinner, on Wednesday, January 26, at seven o'clock.

23 Lafayette Avenue.

The day of the week and the hour are written in full, but figures may be used for the day of the month.

If the dinner is given in honor of some friend or stranger, a second card is inclosed in the envelope with the invitation on which is inscribed: of New York City.

To meet Mr.Benjamin Wither.

The following is a good form for an acceptance, which must be sent immediately: -

Mr. and Mrs. Howard Sincalir accept with pleasure the invitation of Mr. and Mrs.

William Rieston, to dinner, at seven o'clock on Wednesday, January 26.

If the invitation cannot be accepted, the persons invited send a reply immediately with regrets, and state reasons of their inability to accept, which may be either on account of sickness in the family, intended absence, or some previous engagement.

Guests may arrive any time during the half hour before the time appointed for dinner. This interval gives time for introductions and greetings. To delay beyond the appointed hour is unpardonable rudeness. Fifteen minutes is the longest time a hostess is required to wait for a tardy comer.

She is an excellent hostess who can make conversation general before dinner. "To this end," says one writer, "have some novelty at hand, either in the shape of a personage whom every guest wants to meet, or a new picture, bric-a-brac, a rare plant, the latest spiciest news to tell, or a pretty girl to bring forward." "Whatever the attraction, present it early, to prevent monotoney, and if the half or quarter hour before the guests assemble around the table can be so used as to bring them upon easy terms with one another, the success of the dinner, in a social way, is more than half established."

Among her other duties, the hostess has taken into consideration the arrangement of her guests at the table, with a view of having them paired off to their mutual advantage and to the pleasure of all concerned, so that when dinner is announced the host and hostess quietly intimate to the different gentlemen whom they are to escort to the table. "Mr. Power, will you be so kind as to escort Miss Strong to din-ner? Mr. Sharp, please look after the interests of Mrs. Keene, and Mr. Keene, you may do the agreeable to Mrs. Sharp, that will be a keen sharp trade all around. Mr. Wright, suppose you finish telling that little story to Miss Straight at the table," and so on. If the dinner is given in honor of some lady guest, the host offers her his arm and goes out first, and the hostess last. On the other hand, if the honored guest be a gentleman, he escorts the hostess, and they lead the way, and the host follows the company. The hostess having already arranged the places at the table for each guest, and placed a card with the name written upon it, on each of the plates, the guests have no difficulty in finding their respective seats at table.

This method is now used at private dinners, having long been the custom at public dinners.

The gentleman offers his right arm to the lady he escorts to dinner, and seats her on his left hand at the table. On reaching their places, he draws out the chair for her, and allows her to be seated before he seats himself. The honored guest, if a lady, is seated at the right of the host; if a gentleman, at the right of the hostess. It becomes the duty of each gentleman to see that the lady he escorts to the table is well provided for, and where food is passed around from guest to guest, to allow her to be helped before he helps himself.

Table decorations should not be used to a great extent, but should be choice, when used at all. Flowers should be fine but few, for to some people the odor of flowers does not mingle pleasantly with that of the food before them.

It must not be supposed that dinners must be costly and elaborate to be enjoyable, nor will guests expect that a dinner will be other than commensurate with the circumstances of the host and hostess. Costly dinners are not necessarily good dinners, while the surroundings may be so agreeable and cheerful, the table so tastefully spread, the welcome so frank, and the conversation so bright that a very simple dinner is indeed charming, and affords the utmost pleasure to hostess, host, and guests alike.

No dinner should be considered complete without at least three courses, which may be classed as: First, soups; second, meats; and third, dessert of pastry or puddings. This may be easily doubled up, having for the first course, a small dish of raw oysters, or clams; second, soup or boiled fish; third, meats; fourth, salads; fifth, pastry and puddings; sixth, ices, fruits, nuts, and raisins, with coffee. Before the dining-room is opened, half a dozen raw oysters are placed in a small dish before each plate. If the season is warm, they may be placed on cracked ice, with a quarter of a lemon to each plate. When oysters are not in season, small clams may be substituted, in which case red pepper should be provided. These may be eaten after the party have seated themselves for dinner. A dish of soup or of boiled fish, or both, may then be served. The dishes in which these are served being removed, the meats may be served, together with the vegetables and substantial, and they are either roast beef, mutton, or turkey. These may be followed by boiled meats. As a rule, the roast precedes the boiled, next come the salads and entrees, and then follow the pastry or puddings, and finally, ices, fruits, nuts, raisins, candy, and coffee.

If it should be a game dinner, the game may take the place of the meats in the third course. This bill of fare may be varied according to inclination or circumstances. Should the host and hostess desire to include wines in their bill of fare, it would be well to remember that Sauterne, or any light white wines should come with the oysters before soup, Sherry after soup, and that Champagne comes with the roast. If wine is brought on for a dessert, champagne is preferable.

There are two methods of serving a dinner, the French and Russian. The former is the ordinary way, the various dishes being set on the table to be carved and served by the host and hostess, and passed to the guests, or handed to them by a servant. The Russian method, which is often adopted for formal dinners, is for waiters to serve each guest separately, all the carving, etc., being done before the food is brought to the table. By this method more servants are required, and it gives a better opportunity for the decoration of the table, if that is desirable. The English custom is to set all the dishes of each course on the table at once, and then those that are to be carved are removed to a side table and carved by a skillful servant. The advantages of the Russian custom is that it leaves host and hostess almost as free as the guests to guide and take part in the conversation.

As the main object of giving a dinner party is enjoyment and pleasure for all concerned, it is incumbent upon all to be in their happiest mood, and for each to do his or her part in rendering the occasion as delightful as possible. Lively and sprightly conversation, and cheerful ways are especially desirable, and when each endeavors to make all others happy about him, the sociable feature of the dinner is not likely to prove a failure. Ill-nature should never be brought to a dinner table, and any display of it is a mark of ill-breeding. It is not in good taste for two persons to monopolize the conversation by a discussion in which few or none of the other guests are interested. The conversation should be of a nature to be of interest to all, or the great majority, so that each may enter into its spirit. If the dinner party is a large one you may converse with those near you in a low tone of voice. The hostess should endeavor to put all her guests at their ease, paying every attention to the wants of all, so far as possible. She needs-self-possession and tact so that she may anticipate every want.

It is the duty of the host to aid her as far as possible, and to endeavor to encourage the timid, draw out the silent, and direct the conversation, while others sustain it.

The table-cloth must be white and spotless, and under it should be spread a thick baize or other cloth to prevent the noise of dishes. Napkins should be of fine texture, but firm and folded square. The dishes should be free from nicks and scrupulously clean. Flowers, when not used in great profusion, are the most tasteful ornaments for the table. Fruit, tastefully arranged, may also be used to assist in the table decoration.

When the dinner is served up in the ordinary way the plates and the dishes to be served are placed before the host or hostess. When each dish is served into the plate, it is placed upon the waiter's small salver, who sets it before the guest. If a second dish is served in the same course, the waiter presents the dish, having first put into it a spoon, to the left of the guest, who helps himself. As soon as any one has finished his plate, it is removed, without waiting for the others to finish. When all the plates are removed, the next course is brought on. The crumb-brush is not used until just before the dessert, and after that is served, the waiter whose services are no longer needed, leaves the room. In serving, the most honored guest, that is the lady at the right of the host, should be first helped.

At a dinner party, great care should be taken that the food be served neatly; the plates should not be helped too abundantly or the food flooded with gravies, which many dislike. To some people it is disagreeable to have a plate bedaubed with gravy or scattered food. Food is passed to a guest from the left, but water is poured at the right of a guest. Each guest should have ample space at the table so that he may eat without crowding, or being crowded by, his neighbor. Consequently it is important for the success of the dinner that no more be invited than can be comfortably accommodated.