It was a little country inn

Without a bill-of-fare. They simply set forth what they had;

Variety was spare.

A man of cranky appetite

Sat at this humble board, And was no sooner served than he

Thus started in and jawed.

"Take hence this hammered bit of steak,

" Remove this old hen's legs. " Withdraw this bitter chicory -

" And bring some scrambled eggs."

"AlasI" replied the table girl, " To please you much I'd like.

" Some little discontent prevails - " The hens are on a strike."

" What is the cause?" the traveler asked.

" It's simply this," she stated, " The plain glass nest egg's out of style.

"They want'em decorated."

- New Tork Hotel Register.

Au Cafe.

You're a natty little waiter,

O, Fraulein! To my wants you always cater,

When I dine; And you have no irritating Way of keeping people waiting, And your smile is captivating,

I opine.

You are dressed so nicely,

O, Fraulein! All my feelings so precisely

You divine: That from soup to tutti frutti, You're acquainted with your duty; And utility with beauty

You combine.

You are skilled in fancy cooking,

O, Fraulein! You are the maid for whom I'm looking

For my shrine. Tho' I have not wealth nor title, Prithee, list to my recital, Give my fond love some requital,

O, be mine!

So you actually are laughing,

And decline? And my sentiment you're chaffing,

And say: "Nein?" At my proffered love you laugh; eh? What I you are a better half, eh? Of the man who keeps this cafe?

O, Fraulein!

- Chicago Rambler.