---

Serjeant Cockle, who was a rough, blustering advocate, once got from a witness more than he gave. In a trial of a right of fishery, he asked the witness, "Don't you love fish?" "Ay," replied the witness, "but I donna like cockle sauce with it!"

---

When a man has the headache, and says, "It's the salmon," you may safely conclude that he has been drinking like a fish."

---

Dr. Sharp, of Hart Hall, Oxford, had a ridiculous manner of prefacing every thing he said with the words, "I say." An undergraduate having, as the doctor was informed, mimicked him in this peculiarity, he sent for him to give him a lecturing - which he thus began: "I say, they say, you say, I say, I say." When, finding the ridiculous combination in which his speech was involved, he concluded by bidding the young satirist begone to his room.

---

In one of our city schools, not many years ago, a member of the committee asked a member of a class which was under examination, "What was the cause of the saltness of the ocean?" Soon one little girl raised her head, flushed with the dis-covery which had flashed upon her mind. "You may tell," said the committeeman. "Salt fish, sir," said the pupil.

---

The prolificacy of edible fish, is a subject fitted, for the most evident reasons, to call forth our wonder and thankfulness toward a beneficent Providence. Lewenhock, the physiologist, counted 9,384,000 eggs in a cod, 36,900 in a herring, 38,278 in a smelt, 546,681 in a mackerel, 225,568 in a flounder, 1,355,400 in a plaice, 100,000 in a sole, in a carp 3,685,760, and in a trench 300,000.

---

Never go late to a friend's dinner; for you may have observed that when a company is waiting for a guest, they fill up the time by loading him with abuse.

---

Mr. Watson, uncle to the late Marquis of Rockingham, a man of immense wealth, finding himself at the point of death, desired a friend who was present to reach him a drawer, in which was an old shirt, that he might put it on. Being asked why he would wish to change his linen when he was so ill, he replied - "Because I am told that the shirt I die in must be the nurse's perquisite, and this is good enough for her." This is as bad as the old woman, who, with her last breath, blew out an inch of candle, "Because," said she, "I can see to die in the dark!"

---

The Oak, that now spreadeth its branches toward the heavens, was once but an acorn in the bowels of the earth.

---

The Slothful Man is a burthen to himself; his hours hang heavy on his head; he loitereth about, and knoweth not what he would do.

---

"Sir," said a fierce lawyer, "do you, on your oath, swear that this is not your handwriting?" "I reckon not," was the reply. "Does it resemble your writing?" "Yes, I think it don't." "Do you swear that it don't resemble your writing?" "I do!" "You take your oath that this writing does not resemble yours in a single letter?" "Y-e-a-s, sir." "Now, how do you know?" " 'Cause I can't write, sir!"

---

If thy soul thirsteth for honor, if thy ear hath any pleasure in the voice of praise, raise thyself from the dust whereof thou art made, and exalt thy aim to something that is praiseworthy.

---

When Canning's health was drunk, at the Minis-ter's Blackwall dinner, he replied, "Gentlemen, this is a fish dinner: so after sincerely thanking you for your good wishes, I do not see that we can do better than follow the example of the fishes, who drink a good deal, but never speak."

---

"Haven't you finished scaling that fish yet, Sam?" "No, master, 'tis a very large one." "Large one! why you've had time enough to scale a mountain"

---

Though sometimes small evils like invisible insects, inflict pain, and a single hair may stop a vast machine, yet the chief secret of comfort lies in not suffering trifles to vex one, and in prudently cultivating an undergrowth of small pleasures since very few great ones, alas! are let on long leases.

---

An Irish footman, who got a situation at the west end of London, on entering a room where there was a vase of gold fish, exclaimed, " Well, this is the first time I ever saw red herrings alive."

---

"Boy, how did you manage to get such a big string of fish?" "I hooked them, sir!"

---

If order were observed for every one to mend his own heart or house, how would personal amendment, by degrees, produce family, city, country, kingdom reformation! How soon are those streets made clean where every one sweeps before his own door!

---

When Lord Erskine was Chancellor, being asked by the Secretary of the Treasury whether he would attend the grand ministerial fish dinner at the end of the session, he answered, "To be sure I will; what would your fish dinner be without the Great Seal?»

---

Let not thy recreations be expensive, lest the pain of purchasing them exceed the pleasure thou hast in their enjoyment.

---

In a certain School, during the parsing lesson, the word waif occurred in the sentence. The youngest who was up, a bright-eyed little fellow, puzzled over the word for a few minutes, and then a bright idea struck him - "I can parse it. Positive waif, comparative wafer, superlative sealing-wax!"

---

One of our writers asks what sort of animals are the laziest. We think it likely that oysters are, for they never get out of their beds till they are pulled out.

---

A fool boasteth of attainments in things that are of no worth: but where it is a shame to be ignorant, there he hath no understanding.

---

One of our young bloods, dining at a fashionable hotel a few weeks since, was requested by a gentleman to pass some article of food that was near him. "Do you mistake me for a waiter?" said the exquisite. "No, sir, I mistook you for a gentleman," was the reply.

---

Lose no time; be always employed in something useful: cut off all unnecessary actions.