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True wisdom is less presuming than folly; the wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance.

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"'Tis being, and doing, and having, that make All the pleasures and pains, of which people partake, To be what God pleases, to do a man's best, And to have a good heart, is the way to be blest

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A Turkish proverb runs thus: The devil tempts all, except idle men, and they tempt the devil.

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Why should starvation be unknown in the desert? Because of the sand-which-is there. But how came the sandwiches there? Noah sent Ham, and his descendants bred and mustered.

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My uncle P------was an awful snorer. He could be heard as far as a blacksmith's forge; but my aunt became so accustomed to it, that it soothed her repose. They were a very domestic couple - never slept far apart for many years. At length my uncle was required to leave home for some days on business. The first night after his departure, my aunt never slept a wink; she missed the snoring. The second night was passed in the same restless manner. She was getting in a very bad way, and probably it would have been serious, had it not been for the ingenuity of a servant girl; she took the coffee mill into my aunt's bed-room, and ground her to sleep at once!

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A wit and a fool in company, are like a crab and an oyster; the one watches till the other opens his mouth, and then makes small work of him.

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Children and fools, says an old adage, always tell the truth. "Mother sent me," said a little girl, "to come and ask you to take tea with her this evening." "Did she say at what time, my dear?" " No, ma'am, she only said she would ask you, and, then it would be off her mind."

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A clerk was assisting a clergyman, who had come to preach a charity sermon, to robe before the service commenced, when he said to him, "Please sir, I am deaf." "Indeed, my good man," said the clergyman, "then how do you manage to follow me through the service?" "Why, sir," said the clerk, "I looks up, and when you shuts your mouth I opens mine."

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"Father," said a roguish boy, "I hope you won't buy any more gunpowder tea for mother."

"Why not?" "Because every time she sits down to the tea-table, she blows us up!" "Go to bed, sir, immediately."

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A prudent man advised his drunken servant to put by his money for a rainy day. In a few weeks the master inquired how much of his wages he had saved. "Faith, none at all," said he, "it rained yesterday, and it all went."

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"What makes you get up so late, sir?" said a father to his son, who made his appearance at the breakfast table about ten o' clock. "Late! why father I was up with the lark." "Well, then, sir, for the future don't remain so long up with the lark, but come down a little earlier to breakfast."

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What wind does a hungry sailor like best? One that blows foul, afterward chops, and then comes with little puffs.

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Virtue comes from industry quite as much as from morality. "An idle head is Satan's workshop;" and let a man do nothing for a fortnight, the old adversary will get possession of his pate, bring in a stock of evil thoughts, start the machinery of low passions, and commence his regular business of producing sin.

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Wear your learning like your watch, in a private pocket, and don't pull it out to show that you have one; but if you are asked what o'clock it is, answer accordingly.

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Have you ever watched an icicle as it formed? You noticed how it froze one drop at a time. If the water was clean, the icicle remained clear, and sparkled in the sun; but if the water was slightly muddy, the icicle looked foul, and its beauty was spoiled. Just so our characters are forming. One little thought or feeling at a time, adds its influence. If every thought be pure, the soul will be lovely, and will sparkle with happiness; but if impure, there will always be wretchedness.

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How few do eat and drink, not merely with an intention to preserve the body in health and strength, but with such prudence, care and caution, as not to over cherish and pamper, to embolden and enlarge their bodies.

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At a hotel at Hastings, Jerrold was dining with two friends, one of whom, after dinner, ordered, among other pleasant things, "a bottle of old port." "Waiter," said Douglas, with that twinkle of the eye, that was always a promise of wit, " Mind, now, a bottle of your old port, not your elder port."

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The thieving propensities of "the cat" are well known. How does "the cat" contrive to open the side-board? How is it, that after drinking our gin, she never seems intoxicated? Whatever can the cat do with the tea? And how, when she breaks a plate, does she manage to pick up the pieces!

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A sailor went to a conjuror's exhibition. There were to be fireworks at the conclusion; but they accidentally exploded and blew up the room. The sailor fell in a potato field, just outside, unhurt; he got up, and shook himself, and walked back toward the room, exclaiming, "Confound the fellow, I wonder what he will do next!"

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'Tis good advice that St. Jerome gives; still be doing some warrantable work, that the devil may always find thee well employed.

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Two city ladies meeting at a visit, one of them a grocer's wife, and the other a cheesemonger's (who perhaps stood more upon the punctilio of precedence, than some of their betters would have done at the court end of the town), when they had risen up and took their leaves, the cheesemonger's wife was going out of the room first, upon which the grocer's lady, pulling her back by the tail of her gown, and stepping before her, "No, madam," said she, "nothing comes after cheese."

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"This is capital ale - see how long it keeps its head!" "Aye, but consider how soon it takes away yours."