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So, how could either one of them, have handled this differently? I'll do it from Fred's perspective, because it only takes one person to understand this process and act on it - to not only defuse it, but give the best result possible.

As Fred felt that annoyance and even anger rising up in him, he could have paused for a moment and he could have asked himself:

1. Whose annoyance / anger / frustration is this?

2. What do I need to know or do about it?

3. Has it all gone yet? If the frustration and anger had not lessened at all with the answers Fred came up with, then they would not have been the message his soul was trying to give him. If the feelings got less but did not disappear altogether, then there would still have been something for Fred to know or do. So he would repeat the first two questions until all the frustration and anger had gone.

The answer to those questions would have been his soul's communication to him about how to get what he wanted.

And what Fred wanted was be a useful friend to this lady and to save this lovely little horse from the consequences of bad behavior with humans. So the answer he would have gotten from asking The Questions, would not only have stopped the cycle of frustration and anger with each other, it would have produced the outcomes he wanted too.