This section is from the "Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1912" book, by Aristo Motto. Also see Amazon: Studio Light Incorporating The Aristo Eagle - The Artura Bulletin 1912.
Awl the foaks in our town wuz strong for wot they kalled a saif an' sane 4th of July - the growed up wons I mene. Us kids wuzent 2 get up erley an' we wuzent 2 shute off no fire crakers nor no kannons nor nothin' that wood B injurious 2 oure fizzikal well bein', as the Editor of the paper said.
We wuz to hav' a town piknik an' hav' oure young buzzums filled with patriotism (you got me thaire) by listnin' to speaches by our leedin' citizens.
B 4 the piknik there wuz a peerade, an' ole Bill Hinkle with hiz Nites of Pittyus uniform on wuz the gran' marshall.
Me an' my pal knowed which way the peerade wuz 2 go, an' we put a tomatter kan full ov powder under a bord kross walk, an' jus' B 4 Bill Hinkle got 2 it we lit the fuze from Bhind a fense.
Wot Bill sed you woodent print in youar papper, an' it busted up the peerade, Bkaus when the smoak cleered away Bill wuz foar bloks ahed ov the rest ov it an' goin' fast.
The Boss sed our aktion wuz reprehensibull but he slipped me a 2 kase note, so I gess they aint goin' 2 lectrokute us.
Ma, she kride, but Pa he laffed, and when Ma wuzzent looken, he krossed my palm with silver foar bits, an' tole me knot to looze moarn 2 fingers.
Me an' the reception room girl's sister went to the piknik but every boddy gased upon me with suchspision, but they took my munney at the ise Kreme stand jus' the saim.
The Boss says munney may be tainted but most foaks iz willin' to taik it without beein vaxnated.
I asts the Boss wot wuz tainted munney, an' he says that uzually it wuz munney that the other feller got Bkaus he wuz slikkern you, an' he says it's called "tainted" Bkaus it taint yours while you wish it wuz.
The day after the piknik I wuzzent fealin good, an' the Boss asts me did I spend awl that 2 kase note for ise Kreme and stuff, and when I tole him I did he sed some foaks can't stan' prosperity.
The Boss sed that if I had put them 2 dollars out on Kompound interest that in a thousand yeres I wood bee a ritch man.
I asts him diden' he no I wood be ded by that time an' he says shure, but look at the fun my hairs kood have with it.
The Boss says thairs 2 ways of bein' foolish with youar munney - too loose, an' too tite, an' that while money is the only thing that will work nites an' daze an' Sundaze for you, that it's a good thing to giv' it a vakation onct in a while, an' let it do some thin foolish just for the fun ov it.
The Boss says that you mussent.
From An Etching Black Platinim Print By W. C. Noetzel.
Newton Center, Mass.
"Well, good-bye, old man - you won't want persuading next year." "You bet I won't! If it hadn't been for you I should have missed it all. I'll be with you again next year."
From a pencil sketch by Will Owen.
Giv' your munney 2 manny holi-daze or it may bee away on one of 'em when the rent or the stok' hous' bill falls due.
I gaive my munney a holiday at Atlantik Citty durin' the convention, an' I gess it thot it wuz a lay off stid of a vakation Bkaus it aint kom back yet.
Tell you awl aboute it next-time.