For many families, the pleasant comings of friends and neighbors have no further purpose than warm interchange of plans and ideas over a cup of tea or coffee.

But some believe that life is lived with one's associates and that learning to know them simplifies business and professional as well as personal relationships. This does not mean that social life shall be stilted or rigid, even when formal - quite the contrary is usually the sought-after end. Clear thinking, honest motives and ease in management can develop a social life that is simple and charming.

The guest list must be carefully considered. When inviting persons for the purpose of introducing them to someone else, be sure that as far as can be discovered, there is no third person to inject a discordant note. One cannot take full responsibility for the emotional responses of all one's friends and acquaintances, but some caution can and should be exercised. When entertaining a group of professionals it is well to have several professions represented so that conversation will be general and pleasant, and not turn to moot professional questions that may start a sharp debate.

Many families, too, see in their social life an opportunity to train their children in the social graces and amenities. This, of course, can be overdone if not carefully thought out. Many guests are not interested in children and some are annoyed by them. But family parties are always the logical and pleasant opportunity to give the youngsters their chance. In any case, children should be prepared for what is ahead of them. Being more at ease in their own minds about what may happen and what is expected of them, they are much less likely to "show off" or behave like the "enfant terrible." Being reminded of the uses of knife, fork, and napkin beforehand, too, and not reprimanded in the presence of others, will make for better behavior.