This section is from "Every Woman's Encyclopaedia". Also available from Amazon: Every Woman's Encyclopaedia.
* See chapter on cards

It is wise to use boxes less distinctive in shape than was once usual, and for the following practical reason. When wedding-cake was sent by post in boxes whose shape and character indicated the tempting nature of the contents, it was found that pilferage considerably re-duced the quantity of their contents, and that in some instances they had entirely disap-peared, the boxes and cards (and sometimes the boxes only) alone surviving the possibilities of transit.
The correct list of wedding anniversaries is as follows:
Penny Wedding (each guest pays one penny) | |||
Wooden | ,, .................. | 5 | years |
Tin | ,, .................. | 10 | ,, |
Crystal | ,, .................. | 15 | 99 |
,, .................. | 20 | ,, | |
Silver | ,, .................. | 25 | ,, |
Golden | ,, .................. | 50 | ,, |
,, .................. | 60 | ,, | |

It is a sincere compliment to be chosen by a friend as his best man and moral supporter at his wedding. It implies that the person chosen is regarded as a true and intimate friend. The duties are not arduous, as will be seen when they are enumerated later on.
It was once unheard-of that any but an unmarried man should fill this office. A widower even was not permitted to act in the capacity. But all that has been altered for many years. Some bridegrooms have been attended by their fathers as best friends. Many have chosen a married man. Perhaps this is wise, as a certain amount of experience is useful on all such occasions, especially if the bridegroom should be a bachelor. Widowers may be supposed to know something of the routine of the ceremony.
The choice made, the role accepted, it fallss to the lot of the best man to see that his friend makes every possible preparation for the great day; that he has his new clothes home from the tailor in good time. Hatter, bootmaker, and hosier have to be looked up. The best man must see, also, that all that is needful in the way of portmanteaux, travelling rugs, and so on, is provided in anticipation of the wedding trip. In fact, the best man has to act like an amateur valet, and more especially if the bridegroom should not happen to possess that useful adjunct.
The best man sees that the packing is all done, even to the labels, on the day before that fixed for the ceremony, and that the wedding garments are laid out all ready. If his friend should be nervous in anticipation of the coming ordeal, it is the business of the best man to inspire him with courage, and to infuse into him that spirit of resignation which is his best armour against tribulation. This may seem strange language to use about what should be the happiest day of a man's life, but it is none the" less true that a wedding involves considerable trepidation to the bridegroom. Though regarded by spectators as nought in comparison with the bride, yet he is the target for inquisitive looks, one stared at as a curiosity. His appearance is appraised and commented upon, and the unhappy man knows well that it is so. How, then, can he be in a perfectly comfortable frame of mind ? Only the man of adamant, the stoic, the utterly strong-minded, is proof against the opinion of others. It is unnatural for ordinary human nature to be indifferent to it. Therefore he needs to be braced to the possibilities of the occasion, and it is to his best man that he looks for this bracing.
The bridegroom will have entrusted the wedding-ring to his best man, and the two may be supposed to be ready in the vestry, both in wedding garb, and with but little difference between them in this particular. Should the bridegroom elect to wear a cutaway coat, his best man must follow suit. He should not wear a more ceremonious costume than the bridegroom.
Both of them leave their hats in the vestry when, on the arrival of the bride being announced, they go to await her at the chancel rails. Sometimes the bridegroom goes into the church before her arrival and talks with members of his family and other friends until she comes.
The best man hands the ring at the correct time, and when the moment arrives for adjourning to the vestry he sees that no one is standing in the way, and follows the happy pair. He is probably sent back to invite special friends to come and sign the register.
His next duty is to see that the bridal carriage, or car, is drawn up at the steps ready for the newly married couple, and to hand them into it whether there be a footman or not. The idea is that his friend may possibly have something to say to him before driving off. He never has anything to say to anyone but the bride, but one never can tell. Perhaps there might be some day a bridegroom with sufficient detachment and cool-headedncss to think of other matters at such a moment.
The paying of the fees and choir, the tipping of the clerk and vergers, are all done by the best man. Particulars of these are given later on. He then goes on to the reception, attends the bridegroom when he goes to change his clothes for travelling gear, sees that his luggage goes off with that of the bride to meet them at the station, sees them off, and then returns to the room where his friend has changed and sees that his wedding clothes are packed up ready to be sent to the address of the happy pair.
The old fashion of having groomsmen in addition to the best man has been partially revived, brought back to England from across the Atlantic. In the United States it has flourished uninterruptedly. There groomsmen are called ushers. Their sole duties are with regard to the bridesmaids, whom they accompany up the aisle in the bridal procession.
Wedding expenses vary, like everything else, according to the social position of the parties. The statutory fee, as fixed by the chancellor of the diocese, is the same amount as that charged at a registry office
At St. George's, Hanover Square, which is a typical wedding-church, and celebrated as such during three or four generations, the statutory fee is ios. if the marriage is by banns, 13s. if by licence. In country churches it is from 7s. 6d. to ios. There are London churches where the marriage fees are higher than at St. George's. There are others where they are lower, but as it would be impossible to give particulars of all, I quote those at St. George's. The fee for organist and choir-boys is three guineas, no anthem being included in this, as it could not be sung without men's voices. For full choir - that is, six men in addition to the choir-boys - the fee is six guineas.
Church arrangements, including verger, carpet, and police, cost three guineas, perhaps more if a very large assemblage of friends is expected and if the galleries are retained for tenantry, etc.
The clergy fees are as follows: If the rector takes the service, 5; if a friend of the family officiates, the rector assisting, the fee for the latter is two guineas; if a curate of the church officiates, the fee to the rector is two guineas.
All these are paid by the bridegroom. Floral decorations are the affair of the bride's family, and are frequently the most expensive item of the whole. Twenty pounds is quite a usual sum to pay.
With reference to the clergy fees, it may be remarked that it is a graceful act to present any curate officiating with a fee of a guinea or two. And the vestry clerk, who has had all the entries to make and the superintending of the arrangements, certainly deserves a guinea at least.
Let us sum up the fees falling to the bridegroom:
£ | S. | £ | S. | |||
Clergy........ | 2 | 2 | to | 5 | 0 | |
Organist and choir | 3 | 3 | ,, | 6 | 6 | |
Church arrangements . . | 3 | 3 | ,, | 5 | 5 | |
Inexpensive Wedding | ||||||
In cities: | S. | d. | ||||
Statutory fee: | By banns . . | 10 | 0 | |||
At registry | .................. | 10 | 0 | |||
By licence .. | ...................... | 13 | 0 | |||
In a country church | 7S. 6d. | to | 10 | 0 | ||
-Long notice should be given at the church selected. Sometimes two months constitute the interval between making the arrangements with the vestry clerk and the date of the wedding. Six weeks should be the very shortest time.
 
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