By Mrs. Humphry ("Madge")

Arc We Growing Less Hospitable? - The Formal Luncheon - Arrangements and Invitations The Informal Luncheon - Husbands need not be Included in the Invitation - Points of Etiquette and Procedure

The tendency of the time is towards informality, and luncheon has always been an informal meal compared with dinner. The latter is encompassed by rules and questions of procedure and etiquette. The highest social honour, in the way of entertainments, is to be asked to a dinner party; an invitation to luncheon is much lower in degree.

Are we growing less hospitable as a nation? Half a century ago an invitation to luncheon would have been regarded as a decided '"put-off" by any person of consideration or importance. The correct thing in those days was to entertain a distinguished guest at dinner.

Even our civic hospitality has declined since then from banquet at the dinner-hour to banquet at luncheon-time.

With regard to etiquette, this change works both ways. At the ceremonious luncheon, where the party is given for the special purpose of honouring one of the guests and complimenting the others by being asked to meet him, strict precedence must be observed. There is considerable punctilio, almost as much as at the later meal.

The Formal Luncheon

Invitations for a ceremonious occasion of this kind are couched in the third person. "Captain and Mrs. Greene request the honour (pleasure) of - 's company at luncheon on Tuesday, April 4, at 1.45, to meet Brigadier-general A. and Mrs. A., who have just returned from Burmah."

This would probably refer to some distinguished soldier who had won fame in a recent war. Or the guest of the occasion might be an eminent statesman, a governor-general, a high commissioner of one of our colonies, a traveller whose name has been ringing through the land, or a great scientist whose discoveries had made him famous; or to some literary lion.

On such occasions the guests would pair off, as for dinner, and the places at table would be carefully arranged according to precedence. The guests would assemble in the drawing-room not more than five minutes later than the hour indicated on the invitation, and would go to the dining-room in the same order as at a dinner party.

The menu would be worthy the reputation of the great man, and wines would be served as if for dinner.

For a less formal function the invitation would be in the first person:

"Dear Mrs. Grey, - Will you and Mr. Grey give us the pleasure of your company at luncheon on Tuesday, April 4, at 1.45? - Very truly yours,

"Alice Greene."

Or, still less formal:

"Dear Mrs. Grey, - Will you lunch with us on Tuesday, April 4, at 1.45? It will give us great pleasure if you can come. - Yours sincerely,

"Alice Greene."

The reply is regulated by the form of the invitation.

There are two things to note in this particular. It is optional to write "honour" or "pleasure" in a formal invitation, and the question must be decided according to circumstance. Should the person invited be of higher rank than the host and hostess, or distinguished in any special way, "honour" is the more correct.

The second thing is that, whereas wives are seldom, if ever, invited to a dinner party without their husbands in middle-class and upper middle-class society, in aristocratic circles there is no rule whatever, except on very ceremonious occasions.

It is quite different where luncheon is concerned. Professional and business men can seldom give the time for lunching out. Their wives, therefore, can be asked without them, except when it is known that the husband is not away from home during the day, and has leisure for social pleasures.

The Informal Luncheon

At an informal luncheon party all meet in the drawing-room, and when the meal is announced (sometimes merely by gong instead of by butler or parlourmaid) all go downstairs, not in any special order. If any men are present, they follow the women.

The hostess sometimes asks her husband to lead the way with Mrs. So-and-so. or, if her husband be not present, she may detail one of the men of the party for that duty But there is no rule.

Men leave their hats, sticks, or umbrellas, also their gloves, in the hall. The footman or maid takes them and puts them in a place where others will not be put on top of them Some hostesses are criminally careless about the safety of that precious and perishable article, a man's silk hat.

Women do not remove their hats for luncheon. In winter they may or may not leave their furs in the hall. They usually keep their gloves on till sitting down to table, but there is no rule. The hostess is in a hat more often than not.

The meal is simplified in the matter of attendance in most houses. When the hot dishes have been done with, the servants place any cold ones on the table with cheese, biscuits, and dessert, and leave the room.

The idea is that this leaves an opportunity for conversing freely. The hostess should see that a servant is summoned at once if necessary.

After luncheon, coffee is served in the drawing-room, but it is quite permissible for any guest to leave without going upstairs. Everyone is so busy nowadays that this is quite understood. The hostess herself may have an engagement within an hour after the meal is over.

Addressing Letters - Pre-names - The Title ** Honourable " - Hyphened Names, the Advantages and Unpopularity - The Widow's Visiting Card t is an accepted rule that in addressing a letter the person writing shall follow the wording of the addressee's visiting-card as closely as possible. The exceptions are with regard to a man's card. Instead of his name being preceded by "Mr.," it should be followed by "Esq.," unless he happens to have a title or some professional rank.

Another exception is the title "Honble.," which is never put on visiting-cards, but always on envelopes. There is sometimes a misconception about this prefix. There are cases when the wife only is entitled to it, and not the husband. She will have derived the rank from her father. In such cases, an invitation of the formal kind would be worded to suit the circumstances; as, for instance:

Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of

Mr. Robinson's and the Honble. Mrs.

Robinson's company at dinner on - etc., etc.

If the husband is entitled to the prefix, the wife has it too, and the names would run: The Honble. John and Mrs. Robinson's, etc.

In connection with the abbreviation of the word "Honourable," it may be mentioned that persons of high position always write it "Honble.," whereas the middle classes and the Press curtail it to "Hon." This latter is apt to be confused with the contraction of the word honorary. For that reason, the custom of persons of rank is to be preferred as more rational.

It is only polite to be extremely careful about the spelling of names that are copied from those on visiting-cards. There is a good deal of carelessness about this, which is regrettable, for it is, in its way, a cause of friction.

Another thing that is also productive of misunderstanding and sometimes of quarrels is the similarity of family names, leading to letters being opened by other than the persons to whom they have been addressed.

Much of this might be avoided by a little careful study as to the wording of the visiting-card. In many families, the same Christian name is given to the eldest son, generation after generation.

How many James Smiths are there in Great Britain ? Suppose that the widow of one of these has "Mrs. James Smith " upon her card, and that the wife of one of her sons is also Mrs. James Smith, the latter would be more than justified by adopting a pre-name and a hyphen as a precautionary measure against mistakes.

An old family name would serve this purpose, and could give offence to no one of a reasonable cast of mind. That there are many who are not reasonable is an unfortunate fact, and that they are prone to impute unworthy motives to almost every action is no less indisputable. Bui they leave off vituperating in time, and the benefit of some distinctive name remains.

When the surname is of an uncommon order, no such precaution is necessary, but when the contrary is the case it is an excellent plan to adopt a pre-name. Mrs. James Brown, perhaps the fourth of that name in a large family, can start her married life as Mrs. James Harper-brown, and become known among her friends as Mrs. Harper-brown, a very convenient and useful manner of distinguishing her from the other Mrs. James Browns.

A widow has her cards printed with her late husband's Christian name before the family name. This is because the eldest son's wife becomes the principal lady in the family so far as social importance is concerned, and is consequently entitled to call herself Mrs. Brown. The dowager is Mrs. James Brown again, as probably she was when first married. She now becomes a fresh addition to the number of Mrs. James Browns in the family. The hyphen, it is true, is in some disgrace, owing to the misuse that has been made of it, but here is a way in which It may be utilised.